If you’ve spent any amount of time in Christian circles, you’ve likely encountered the admonition to “guard your heart.” While this phrase often comes up in discussions about romantic relationships, its implications reach far beyond. Understanding what it truly means to guard your heart can save you from unnecessary pain and confusion.
From a young age, I was cautioned to shield my heart, especially in relationships. Yet, despite my best efforts, I frequently ended up hurt. At times, the idea of cutting off all contact with the opposite sex seemed like the safest bet. Here’s why that’s a misguided approach and what I’ve learned instead:
Understanding Attraction Misconception
Guarding your heart means never being distracted by members of the opposite sex. Reality: Attraction is a normal human experience. It’s unrealistic and harmful to view natural feelings of attraction as failures or distractions. Accepting that such feelings are normal and not necessarily actionable can lead to a more peaceful existence. Recognize them, but don’t let them dictate your actions, especially if they are fleeting.
Navigating Emotional Pain Misconception
Feeling angst or pain means you have failed to guard your heart. Reality: Emotional pain can be a valuable part of gaining clarity. Life involves a degree of emotional pain; it’s an inevitable part of personal growth and relationship dynamics. Rather than viewing such emotions as failures, see them as opportunities to learn and mature. Remember, experiencing pain does not mean you’ve done something wrong, nor should it trap you in guilt or shame.
Setting Wise Boundaries
While it’s not advisable to completely sever ties with the opposite sex (as both genders can enrich our lives significantly), it is wise to set boundaries that prevent unnecessary emotional turmoil. Be mindful of situations that may stir up emotions that are not conducive to your spiritual and emotional well-being.
Managing Emotions Misconception
Guarding your heart is futile because emotions are uncontrollable. Reality: While you can’t control your feelings, you can manage your thoughts and actions. Your emotions aren’t your master. You decide the extent to which you nurture an attraction or dwell on a romantic possibility. Actions like obsessively checking someone’s social media or daydreaming about a future together are choices that can either fan or quench the flames of attraction.
Feelings Don’t Dictate Truth
It’s crucial to understand that feelings, while valid, don’t always reflect reality. They should not be the sole foundation of any relationship. Relationships are built on decisions and commitments, not fleeting emotions. Recognize feelings for what they are—passing states that can help you understand your desires and fears more deeply.
Inviting God into Your Emotional Life
Proverbs teaches us the importance of guarding our hearts because our life experiences flow from them. Guarding your heart isn’t about suppressing feelings but about aligning your thoughts with God’s truth. Involve God in your emotional life by seeking His perspective on the people who attract you. He’s eager to guide and support you through these complexities.
In conclusion, guarding your heart is less about building walls and more about fortifying it with wisdom and discernment. It’s about knowing when to open the doors to new relationships and when to keep them closed. It involves a continual process of checking in with God and realigning our hearts with His will and love. Through this, we can enjoy the journey of relationships while staying rooted in the security of God’s plan for our lives.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Faith Activist
Featured Image by Tom from Pixabay
