How to Navigate Through a Transition in Life

Recently, I accepted a new job!  It happened quickly, but it’s really the culmination of a transition that was two years in the making.

After I graduated with my master’s degree, I was ecstatic!

Four years of hard work finally paid off, and I celebrated!

Yet, after the flurry of activity died down, I felt deflated, like an actor who just finished their part in a theater production, and the after-party is a distant memory.  I asked myself, “What’s next?”

I wanted a new challenge, but I had no answer.  So, I spent two years looking for one and came out the other side much friendlier to myself, less afraid to fumble, and more confident to take on new challenges.

Whether it’s planned or not, you are going from one transition to the next. As soon as you experience a significant ending, you are transitioning into a new beginning, and then the cycle repeats.

Change happens quickly, (like getting a new job), but transitions are a much slower process. During that time, you will experience uncertainty and what seems like aimless wandering or waiting. But, you can come out the other side stronger, wiser, and freer than you were before. You have a choice in the matter and can approach your transitions with intention instead of fear.

How do you know you’re in transition?

1.  You feel restless, yet uncertain about what’s next.

2. You recently experienced a significant change in one of these areas: relationships, career, family, finances, relocation, health.

3. Your interests and/or goals no longer excite you.

4. You’re wondering if where you are in life is where you want to be.

5. A significant role in your life ended (e.g., job loss, resignation, empty nest, divorce). This ending could be planned or unplanned.

6. You’re healing from emotional trauma and/or grieving a significant loss.

7. You recently accomplished an important goal.

Here are 4 helpful tips for navigating through a transition.

1. Let Go

Transition begins by letting go of your previous situation, what no longer fits in your life, and who you knew yourself to be in that context. It’s an internal shift of a belief or assumption, how you see yourself and others, or how you view the world around you.

Letting go can cause great sadness.  Allowing yourself to grieve is a helpful way to let go.

Kate Dorsey, from Thrive Coaching, Inc., “likes to create space for full expression of [grief]. To be okay with its rhythm as it often rises and subsides.”  She encourages her clients to spend time in nature and take walks outside.  Participate in a support group with people on a similar journey.

Physically separating yourself from the situation is also helpful in the letting go process. Once separated, it can give you the space to see things from a different perspective, to look at your role in the situation, and how you can learn from it.

Sometimes forgiveness is also necessary to free yourself from what you left behind.

2. Be Patient with the Process and Yourself 

Transitions take time. One of mine took decades – I remember being shy as a child and feeling like I couldn’t speak up. After numerous experiences that took me well into adulthood, I no longer wanted to repeat that pattern of not speaking up. It was in 2007 when staying quiet no longer fit me.  So, in one crucial moment, I spoke up.

That decision led me on a four-year journey of further discovering my voice.  It culminated with writing a letter and reading it to my perpetrator, in the presence of other people where I felt safe.

I walked out of that room feeling heard and free from the clutches of fear.

A lot of life happens during the transition, so please be patient with the unfolding process.  You will be amazed at what blooms in your life as a result.

3. Reach out to trusted friends, loved ones, or mentors

Seek out people who support your growth rather than those who want to keep you the same.  Some people in your close circle may not feel comfortable with you growing and changing because it would require them to grow and change too. Use wisdom in who gives you counsel.

Reaching out to people you love and trust to help you through a transition will be essential. They will be the ones who encourage you to hang on, to move forward into the person you are meant to become.

They may even see what’s inside you, waiting to unfold before you see it in yourself. It’s life-giving to be around people who see your future in you and can draw it out.

4. Experiment

Being in transition can be difficult at times, but it’s also a time of discovery.  Give yourself time and permission to experiment.  Dabble in your interests that have remained dormant or try something new and see where it leads.

If you call it an experiment, it’s easier to accept if it doesn’t work out the way you thought.

You can always try something else.

It’s never too late to return to school, start a new hobby/passion project, or volunteer.  Learn about something of interest through books, online courses, YouTube tutorials, or Google search a topic.

What’s something you can try on for size to see how it fits?  Is there an opportunity to grow into it?