Have you ever made a decision that you knew was the wrong decision but everything in you was enticed and the desire overcame you? Against your better judgment and the feeling of your gut clenching together, it still wasn’t enough to stop you from making it? Where the fruit being dangled in front of you was just so amazingly bright and delicious looking that you knew it wasn’t meant for you but the thoughts of biting into that juicy flavorful piece of edible gold consumed you? And you found yourself saying yes but deep down inside, you were screaming no?
I recently fell into that devils’ trap. That snare he set to get me off course. I suddenly felt like Eve in the Garden. My husband and I made the decision together, yet somehow, when we realized what we had done, we blamed each other. Who decided it first? Who was more at fault for giving in to the temptation that was dangling in front of us? We knew better.
Both of us knew what decision we should have made, yet somehow, we found ourselves saying “yes, yes, yes” when, inside, we really felt like saying “no, no, no.” Everything about this was wrong, but the enemy gently lifted up our chins and whispered sweetly into our ears, “Stay focused on the positives here.” The slithering snake knew all the right things to say. He knew how to get us distracted from the Holy Spirit’s voice telling us that everything about this was unequivocally wrong.
There were times when we could have escaped free and clear. God gave us the out we needed, yet somehow, we were glued there. Our feet felt like anchors to the floor. We were hooked on the empty promises and the heavenly picture in front of us. Our heads were in a tailspin. We felt like we were staring into the eyes of paradise. “Just sign right here,” he said. Reluctantly, we signed. It felt like we were signing our life away. We instantly regretted what we had done. We were deceived.
I am usually pretty on top of it when spotting a deception. This was like no other deception I’ve encountered. The enemy had set up the perfect plan to get us unfocused and distracted. To turn down the volume on our spiritual ears.
We tried to reverse what we had done to no avail. We tried desperately to take it all back. It was too late. What was done was done. I broke down emotionally. I woke from my sleep in a panic. The anxiety was overwhelming. Was there any way out now?
“Lord please get us out of this,” we prayed. We began to blame each other. It suddenly put a rift in our marriage. I was no longer focusing on what I had felt the Lord called me to do. My creativity seemed to fade away. Embarrassed and now feeling like a failure, I cried and I prayed and I isolated myself from everything.
I felt the energy leave my body. I suddenly felt distanced from God. It felt as though I had an affair with the world. My thoughts were focused on how I let God down and I let my family down. I let my followers down because how can I possibly be a witness or an example if I can’t say no?
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say; “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down” ( Rev. 12: 10, NIV).
The Holy Spirit reminded me that Satan is the accuser and God is the Forgiver. Satan would have me believe that I am not worthy to receive grace or be forgiven. Now I may have been born in the mornin’, but I wasn’t born this mornin’. The devil may have snared me once, but I refuse to allow him to trap me in a world of despair and depression over this.
Once he gets you, he works on torturing you with lies, “Oh boy, you have really done it now. Look at you! You are a fraud. You are weak. God can’t work with you now because you have ruined it.” “It was your decision to make, and you made the wrong one. That is on you, and now you have screwed up the plan your God had for you.” “Now you have to live the rest of your life in regret. You may as well just give up now. There is no coming back for you.” These thoughts may come, but one thing I know is that my strength is not found in myself. The (NIV) Bible says,
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though it’s waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”
“The name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run into it and are safe.”
“Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.”
“In repentance and rest is your salvation; in quietness and trust is your strength.”
Over and over in the Bible, He reminds us that He is our strength. He reminds us that, when we repent, we are forgiven. He wants us to come to Him. The Lord knows we are going to fail at times. He knows we will make poor choices, but He never allows us to go through the process without providing a solution. This was proven in the Garden of Eden. He knew they were going to partake of the forbidden fruit, so He was already working on a solution. Jesus Christ dying on the cross was our solution. This plan was set in place since the moment the sin infected our bloodline.
Going forward, I choose to cling to the truths God has given us. I choose to not allow the enemy any more foothold. It’s a hard lesson to learn. A very large pill to swallow. I have to believe and I have to remember that I have been forgiven and that nothing I do is going to thwart His plans for my life. God has called me to share what I have learned. He has called me to something so much bigger, and I have been anointed.
If you have allowed the enemy to snare you and get you off course, read God’s promises and declare them over your life and your family’s lives. It’s not the end. We may suffer the consequences of making that bad decision, but it’s not over for us, and we haven’t been cast away and forgotten.
God still loves us, and He still wants the best for us. Stay close to Him. Go before the throne and put that armor back on. Stay in the Word and stay focused. We have a mission, and although we may encounter a setback, it is only temporary. It’s time to get up, dust ourselves off, and get back on the road.
Featured Image by Ashutosh Sonwani