“Yet You are He who brought me forth from the womb;
You made me trust when upon my mother’s breasts.
I was cast upon You from birth;
You have been my God from my mother’s womb.”
(NASB, Psalm 22:9-10)
This powerful Messianic Psalm penned prophetically by David contains the epic, time-transcendent worship and wonderful work of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Scripture speaks specifically of one moment in time and untold numbers of other moments throughout history by Father’s magnificent ability to communicate to us all. That’s part of what He means when Jesus said that the words He speaks are spirit and life – He is the Living Word (ref. John 1:1-5; 6:63).
Trust’s Foundation
The word “trust” in Psalm 22:9 is the Hebrew word batah (Strong’s H982). The King James version translates the word “trust” as “hope” in this verse. Further, batah contains the meanings “to trust, to have confidence, to be bold, to be secure, to cause to trust, to make secure” (Blueletterbible.org).
Huge Solid Foundation Father’s Design Provided
Father’s brilliant design because of His great lovingkindness for Jesus, yes, and for all the people He’s ever formed, is twofold here: 1. establishing an emotional baseline of trust and safety as a human and with the secure attachment to mother (and to Himself) and 2. transferring generational memories that establish a spiritual baseline to trust Him as Father.
Notice that not only did Father design the baby to be physically nourished, but also emotionally nourished during the one-to-three-year nursing process. In that young and vulnerable state, Father provided a beautiful way to set the baseline for the baby’s emotional state of being to feel and know security (safety), to have confidence, to trust, to hope, to be made bold because of the knowing that he/she was safe, loved, and cared for.
Regarding generational memories, one way light transfers is through eye-to-eye contact. Light carries information. In Father’s glorious design, light transfers information encoded with memories, generational memories, from mother to child in the nursing process. Here, the child receives a leg up by the impartation of his/her mother’s experience (and the generations preceding her) with Father that translates to faith flowing through the light transfer through the eyes during the nursing process.
This is Father’s design – and it provides a lifetime of good. However, this early nurture has to be coupled with allowing Father to parent.
What Father provided in the physical womb and physical nursing and early childhood for Jesus sustained Him and was remembered during His horrendous and traumatic time on the Cross. Father gave each person choice or free will. Jesus chose to allow Father to parent Him. THIS made all the difference.
Notes and Effects in the Time of Now
Fast forward to this time in history, most mothers are not supported as they should be during pregnancy, and there’s a rapid decrease in nursing. For extenuating circumstances at worst, or to help the mother at best, children are often fed by people other than the mother. While it won’t harm the child to be occasionally fed by other loving family members, it is Father’s best design that the bulk of the nursing process be between mother and child.
Life happens – and there’s a lot of shortfalls between Father’s design and the experience of most people. Even so, if all the boxes were checked on our human side, but Fathers are not allowed to parent, there will still be deficits.
Obviously, this is a huge topic, and there’s much more to be said than fits the scope here.
Grace to be Safe in His Heart
While there’s grace to reconcile with your Heavenly Father, you need to know that a large portion of your struggle to connect with Him emotionally and then spiritually comes not from Him – or even from you! If His design were well-executed and He was allowed to parent (this is by your choice), you’d be overflowing with trust and confidence, more than enough to draw from and be anchored to during the most trying times, as Jesus was.
Grace to Overcome Generational Patterns
Generational patterns are somewhat like Newton’s first law of motion which states that “an object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in uniform motion tends to stay in uniform motion unless acted upon by a net external force.”
The patterns continue, unchanging, unless an external force acts on them.
This explains many disturbing verses in the Old Testament concerning the dynasty of kings: He walked in the ways of his fathers (wickedly, not like David did). Very few kings had this commendation which Josiah received: “He did what was right in the sight of the Lord, and walked in the ways of his father David and did not turn aside to the right or the left” (NASB, 2 Chronicles 34:2).
Father is doing us a favor when He allows an external force to interrupt the generational patterns in our lives that are not healthy and are not working.
There are different things to overcome in our time on earth. A huge portion of our coming into the position of an overcomer who then moves into more than conquering rests on these: 1. overcoming the deficits we received to our secure attachment which is designed to be safe in our Heavenly Father’s heart and 2. overcoming the generational memories that cause patterns that detract from our trust, hope, security, and boldness in Him.
There’s grace in this time to allow Father to re-parent you and overcome unhealthy generational patterns.
Where the Solution Truly Lies
At one time, I believed that a loving, Spirit-filled family would be the answer. I have labored in that direction for years in my family and for Father’s family.
Now, I can assure you that only Father is the solution.
A loving, Spirit-filled family is Father’s design and helps in countless ways. However, it is not possible for a person to feel loved, safe, and cared for 100% of the time by a loving, Spirit-filled family alone.
As I have considered this, I realized – the Father was parenting Jesus. Jesus allowed Father to fully parent Him. Anything less than this — and yes, there is a shortfall here in the amount of loving, Spirit-filled families – results in deficits and damage in emotional and spiritual baselines in people’s ability to place a secure attachment in Heavenly Father.
My Prayer
What I pray the light of this truth does is:
1. Give hope for the hurting.
You aren’t doomed to pain because you didn’t have a loving, Spirit-filled family to give a solid foundation to your attachment bonds, including the emotional and spiritual baseline of trust and hope in Father.
Father gives more grace to those who have been injured more.
He is the answer. Take your pain and go to Him and allow Him to love you. Ask Him to re-parent you. Then, allow Him to do so!
2. Release the strain of hyper-responsibility and hyper-vigilance from loving, Spirit-filled families who are trying.
You cannot give enough, strain enough, toil enough, or do enough to fully fill your children’s need for love, care, and security.
While it is important to continue praying and to keep on investing in your children and family, even if you gave every ounce of your energy, it still wouldn’t be enough to fill their inner cup.
Only Father can do that. So, ask Him to do it! Shift the weight of responsibility to His shoulders – and then, step back emotionally and physically from strain, and allow Him to do it.
3. Encourage you that a huge portion of the inner places where you’ve thought, felt or decided that you won’t be loved or secure, that it’s impossible, is untrue.
To use an idiom, “Throw in THAT towel!”
It’s NOT your fault!
A lot of it is not even your issue!
Take this concept to Father in prayer, and ask Him to separate you from what’s not yours from Him – and come into agreement with the love He has for you in His heart that makes you trust and feel secure.
Come, allow Your Father to re-parent you now. Ask Him to do it. And then, let Him.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Hope Streams
Featured Image by Michal Bar Haim on Unsplash
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