FLOURISH-MEANT
PODCAST
HOST: TINA YEAGER
How can we have connective conversations on race and ethnicity? Today’s guest, Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, offers guidelines from the book she co-authored with Lori Roleveld. Listen in to learn how you can ask the right questions, reach out to build bridges and listen with your heart to connect effectively with people whose ethnicities and backgrounds differ from yours.
Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith is a board-certified internal medicine physician, work-life integration researcher, speaker, and host of the I Choose My Best Life Podcast, where she shares biblical ways to help you live fully, love boldly, and rest intentionally. Her previous books include Sacred Rest, Set Free to Live Free, and Come Empty. Learn more at ichoosemybestlife.com.
Lori Stanley Roeleveld is a Christian coach, author, and speaker with degrees in psychology and biblical studies. Lori’s previous books include Jesus and the Beanstalk and Running from a Crazy Man (and Other Adventures Traveling with Jesus). She also writes a popular blog at http://www.loriroeleveld.com.
Dr. Smith relates the process of writing about race and ethnicity with an author she didn’t know well. She explains this co-authoring journey helped inform the content because the book is intended to guide readers in engaging with strangers who differ from them.
Dr. Smith discusses the importance of setting ground rules for these potentially difficult conversations. She notes that both parties should feel safe in sharing their feelings. A few other key elements in setting the framework include:
- Don’t take offense quickly.
- Honor one another’s needs to be heard.
- Consider the best way to love the other person by seeing their heart needs from their perspective.
- Share your feelings without condemnation.
We discuss the art of listening. Saundra notes this is the first of 3 entry points, with the others involving learning and leadership. Dr. Smith emphasizes how leading the way to connection does not require one to be an expert.
Saundra discusses how to ask better questions. She addresses the problematic question, “Am I a racist?” The question causes us to end the conversation by checking a quick “no” in the response box instead of inviting deeper investigation. Instead, we should examine our thoughts and behaviors to discover how we can grow and become more inclusive. Colorful Connections includes reflection questions at the end of each chapter.
Dr. Smith highlights the need for diversity in churches and organizations as an important topic that all of us have a role in addressing. Saundra clarified that this issue impacts all ethnicities, so she and Lori invited guest authors from a variety of ethnic backgrounds and experiences to contribute to Colorful Connections.
We discuss how Colorful Connections can serve as a group study and list examples of various types of groups that might benefit from engaging in the content and questions.
Dr. Smith encourages listeners to introduce the topic of race in ways that prove life-giving in our ongoing and new relationships with those around us.
Saundra recommends setting ground rules for your conversations and shares the guidelines she and Lori set in place during the process of co-authoring Colorful Connections. She notes how these discussions should provide an opportunity to go through the conversations as part of the healing journey.
We discuss how to have the courage to engage in difficult conversations. Dr. Smith shares how she chose to speak life where there had been so much death. She decided that she couldn’t simply wait for someone else to speak or write on the topics she hoped “someone” would speak or write about.
For those who struggle to find a starting place, Dr. Smith recommends following radio broadcasts, podcasts, trainings, or social media accounts that share different ethnic perspectives.
We clarify that it is not recommended to single out an individual to serve as your token expert to represent an entire ethnicity. We also discuss the opposite problem of declaring “color blindness” and ignoring a person’s ethnicity altogether. Instead, we should remain aware of the person’s ethnicity with cultural sensitivity.
Learn more about Colorful Connections and get a study guide at https://colorfulconnectionsbook.com/.
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