There’s one counseling concept that continues to remind me of the humility required to live a successful life. And that successful life is in the plain acceptance that we will need to eat humble pie on occasion.
Circumambulation means to walk around a holy place. The very nature of life is that we walk around and around and around the circumstances of our lives that repeat to teach us a lesson or two.
Today I learned something that I first learned 30 years ago. You know when you have that moment, and it’s always an uncomfortable moment, where do you think, “I’ve been here before, a very long time ago, and I thought I’d learn the lesson then.”It was such a simple thing. How to include a quieter member in a group. For years I prided myself on drawing out the quiet one and on evening up the group dynamic. Today I was reminded to do it again. The temptation to pride, of course, meant that I needed to simply listen and smile and agree with the truth I was informed about. It was delivered kindly and well.
It’s just one simple example, the older we get the more we realize we will need to relearn and relearn many things in our lives as we encounter these old things in new ways.
We learn nothing when we respond in pride. But we serve others when we listen and agree to learn again, demonstrating that we have the capacity of humility to simply take on board what is meant for our betterment.
Circumambulation is a good term for this phenomenon, where we re-learn again and again.
When we find we are schooled in a thing that we previously thought we’d mastered, it is one of the biggest tests of our pride and humility. The fact is, we need to meet this test with gratitude instead of annoyance. Then, and only then, as we resist the pride of reacting against the feedback, do we make the practice of circumambulation a reality.
Learning, and particularly relearning, are sacred practices. They are veritably the difference between life and death. When we have a teachable attitude, we demonstrate humility, and we resist narcissism. Indeed, it can be seen that the best leaders are learners, ever humble enough to be ever respectful of the sacred process of circumambulation they are privileged to partake in.
One of the lessons of old age is the acceptance of our past, warding against regret, grateful for the years lived, being less anxious than ever, and especially the acceptance that the more honor that is due for our gathering years is often thwarted by the young who think they know better.
Part of the privilege of aging is not resenting being taught by the young. It’s being humble enough to allow them to teach us, especially if they are kind about it. They, too, will have the opportunity of learning and relearning their lessons. They will have the same tests that we have—those tests of our annoyed pride rising to scorch the ear of the one trying to help us.
Life is an invitation to humility, and the more humility we show, the more gratitude is on offer for the simple things in life. Life is so much to show us, but we’ll see precious little of it when our pride looms large.
The honor of life is being gentle with ourselves and others when it comes to being taught fresh lessons about things we learned long ago.
Think of the peace that this holy circumambulation brings when we don’t always need to be right, and don’t need to be defensive, and can allow others their opportunity of showing us things. Instead of a scowl, it can be a “thank you.”
There’s good character in being wrong in a right way but being right by doing it wrong creates hurt.
Humility is the first lesson in life, and it’s also the last one. All through life, nothing will test us more than opportunities to be humble. Especially these days.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Tribework
Featured Image by Ján Pénzeš from Pixabay
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