Women have expressed that they often find it challenging to get in the mood for love. They mentioned they didn’t enjoy sex because they don’t feel sexy or romantic. However, the Bible directs us to respond with “yes” when our husbands desire intimacy with us, as stated in 1 Corinthians 7:5.
Do not deprive each other of sexual relations unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a listed time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer.
When we follow the guidance in this Scripture. I believe it’s essential we learn how to prepare our minds and bodies for sexual intimacy with our husbands.
Sex Is Part of God’s Design for Marriage
Physical intimacy is an indispensable part of a happy marriage. God created humankind both male and female, intending sexual intercourse to consummate a marriage. In Genesis, chapter two, God instructed Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply.” My understanding of this passage encourages us to have sex and build a family.
Our private, intimate moments of love create the closest physical connection possible between two people. Sex unites us as a married couple on an emotional, physical, and spiritual level. However, it can sometimes be challenging to get in the mood for love.
How to Fuel The Spark
Experts say marital relationships evolve from romantic, heart-zinging emotions to a more comfortable, like state. Unfortunately, maintaining the initial spark requires hard work, and sometimes it feels like too much effort, which may lead to complacency. In short, we give up.
Our marriages can last for decades, but it doesn’t mean the passion has to flicker and die. I refuse to let the fire in my marriage die out, and I believe many of you feel the same way.
However, we can date, dream, and design our marriages to fit God’s plan for two people as we journey through life together with this special gift of love.
What can a woman do to keep her marriage fresh, meaningful, and exciting? Instead of focusing on the negatives, such as your husband not being romantic or caring about your attempts to kiss and cuddle, remember he’s responsible for his actions.
10 Tips to Keep Your Marriage Exciting
- Respect Your Husband: He’s the man you promised God to love. Refer to 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 for God’s perspective on love and the importance of respect.
- Compliment Your Husband: Remember the qualities you admired when you stood at the altar. Take time to write down his good traits and share the list with him on a date after a good meal, or send it in a letter. When in public, let others know he is your hero.
- Prepare His Favorite Dinner. Enjoy the meal together without bringing up the calories or his lack of exercise.
- Snuggle Under the Sheets: Our bodies may not look the same as they did before having kids, but they are still the bodies our husbands crave.
- Support Him in Sports: Even if sports aren’t your preference, show your love by offering to join him in front of the TV to watch the big game.
- Communicate Openly: Discuss his goals and talk about your children, grandchildren, investments, retirement, church, community, and the world.
- Plan a Weekly Date Night: Whether at home or out, include a fun activity, time alone, and a plan for intimacy.
- Explore Shared Interests: Discover a hobby that you can enjoy together.
- Create Memorable Moments: Small gestures like a tender glance, a kind word, a whisper, or a brief touch can remind him he’s still the man of your dreams.
- Learn Your Husband’s Love Language. Start with Gary Chapman’s quiz to understand how he feels loved. Begin today, and you won’t regret it—love language.
Microwaves and Crockpots
When it comes to sex, men tend to react like a microwave, while women respond like a crockpot. Many women need to start their day by preparing for intimacy at night. We turn our “crockpots” on at breakfast, allowing the romantic feelings to simmer throughout the day.
We anticipated the celebration and pleasure of our wedding night when we became one with our “prince charming.” As our married lives began, we balanced work, managed the home, and often juggled both. Children might enter the scene, or we feel tired and grumpy from a busy day at work. Despite this, our husbands bug us for more sex than we fancy or are in the mood to enjoy.
My first step was to prioritize having sex with my husband. Then I figured out how to get myself emotionally and physically ready for love and romance. Over time, I developed eleven steps to keep my “crockpot” on simmer while preparing for a night of loving my man. Feel free to add whatever you need to get ready for an evening of connection with your husband.
11 Tips to Get in the Mood for Love
- Finish your work before dinner.
- Take time to do your hair and makeup.
- Wear an outfit that makes you feel confident and attractive.
- Enjoy a leisurely dinner together.
- Put the kids to bed on time or even a bit early.
- Take a relaxing hot bath.
- Select clothes to wear later for his eyes only. I like to call these “5-minute clothes.”
- Prepare your bedroom and light a candle or two.
- Play soft music in the background if you prefer.
- Invite God into the process as you prepare your mind, body, and spirit to unite with your husband.
- Ask God to help you clear your mind of mental clutter so you can focus on those intimate moments with your husband.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Joyce Zook
Featured Image by Thomas Mühl from Pixabay
