For a long time, I was addicted to The Bachelor. I anxiously awaited the season premiere and planned my evenings around when the show would air. Five years ago, my brother, Brian, appeared as a contestant in The Bachelorette. As a result, I got a sneak peek into what goes on behind the scenes of reality TV.
The night before the “big event,” my brother was approached by producers. “Tomorrow, you’re going to talk about your past relationships with the bachelorette,” they informed him.
“We’ve already had that conversation,” he said.
But they told him to do it again. They knew it would set the stage for “enter enraged girlfriend” and create the drama they needed to drive up their ratings while sabotaging my brother’s reputation. Prior to the scene, they kept Stephanie – his ex – in a back room, telling her all kinds of things to work her up. (I heard this from her directly.) When she lost control, they set her free, capturing the entire confrontation on national TV.
In signing a contract, my brother had given the network permission to edit the show’s content in any way they saw fit. That they did – inserting an eye roll and responses from previous conversations throughout his interaction with Stephanie to paint the picture they wanted to portray. Weeks afterward, the media continued to play up the story, referring to Brian as disrespectful and deceitful, even saying they were “disgusted” by him. All in the name of ratings.
We would be naïve to think that television, social media, and the news are in alignment with reality, but we would also be naïve to think they don’t affect us in a very real way, especially when the average American watches 5 hours of TV, spend 4.7 hours on their cell phone, and checks social media 17 times a day. (1) Our input affects our output, so when we fix our minds on things that glorify superficial love, sexual promiscuity, pornography, and profanity, among other things, it affects how we think, feel, and act. To say that we’ve become desensitized to it is as much a problem as watching it in the first place. Wise people protect their hearts and minds, choosing not to fill up on junk food, so they still hunger for God’s truth.2
The irony behind the Internet, TV, and other media is that we use them to educate and escape daily stressors, yet we become misinformed and trapped in the process. The information is skewed to meet an agenda or build an audience. And while it might provide a temporary respite from reality, we compare, covet, or incorporate what we see, leading us away from a Christ-centered life characterized by peace, joy, and contentment.
“Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.” 2 Corinthians 7:1
Choosing not to allow things “that contaminate” our personal space is as much a spiritual discipline as refusing not to listen to the voice of comparison. We can be intentional about the information we take in (e.g., TV, social media), eliminate that which draws us away from a Christ-centered life and set appropriate limits on everything else. There are many positive attributes of technology, including the ability to connect across the globe and retrieve information in an instant, but if it’s robbing us of being present and focused on our relationships with others, we need to make some changes.
Joy
Take a moment to listen to the song, Joy by For King and Country. Here’s an excerpt that directly relates to today’s post:
Lately, I’ve been reading, watching the nightly news
Can’t seem to find the rhythm, just wanna sing the blues
Feels like a song that never stops
Feels like it’s never gonna
Gotta get that fire, fire, back in my bones
Before my heart, heart, turns into stone
So somebody please pass the megaphone
I’ll shout it on the count of three
One, two, three
Oh, hear my prayer tonight, I’m singing to the sky
Give me strength to raise my voice, let me testify
Oh, hear my prayer tonight, ’cause this is do or die
The time has come to make a choice
And I choose joy
In a world where we are more prone to fix our eyes on a screen than on Jesus, we are called to make a choice.
Will we put our phones down to be more present? Will we recognize that the online world can’t replace our need for actual human connection and personal interaction?3 Will we slow down and set aside time to seek Him?
Worldly news will make us “wanna to sing the blues,” but the Good News of the Gospel brings joy.
Which will you choose?
Technology Detox
After my brother got kicked off The Bachelorette, I felt convicted for watching reality TV. (This isn’t to say that all reality TV is bad, but rather that we must carefully discern what we read, listen to, and watch.) I decided to cut it out completely and fill that time with reading, writing, listening to music, or engaging in actual conversation instead.
Rather than disconnect from social media, I vowed to be more intentional about when and how I use it. This is something I am still working on, but I have begun tracking my phone usage with the Moment app, capping the time I allow myself to scroll through newsfeeds or surf the web and examining my motives before I post.
Am I seeking comfort, acceptance, or approval? Am I looking to vent or blow off steam? If so, I stop. Social media is not the place for this.
Instead, I choose words that will support, connect, or encourage and I follow others who do the same. Rather than ignore the problem, I strive to be part of the solution – one small pebble that starts a ripple effect. (You can be a pebble too.)
As a society, we’ve become so bombarded with information that we miss the true meaning of life. We’re constantly checking social media, but we don’t crack open our Bibles. We say we want to find our purpose, but we’re “too busy” to seek the Lord to discover our unique path. We prioritize charging our devices, but we don’t recharge ourselves. As a result, we become overstimulated and overwhelmed.
We have a choice to change this. We can be intentional about how and when we use technology so we are present and focused on the relationships that give our life meaning. We can create space for our minds to reflect, our hearts to connect, and our souls to find rest simply by setting daily limits on our technology usage.
Here are a few tips to detox from technology.
- Monitor the amount of time you spend on your phone, computer, or watching TV (e.g., Moment app for cell phone usage) and decrease it over time. You might be surprised to find your screen time is higher than you think.
- Be intentional about where you place your electronic devices to resist the temptation to use them. Store your phone in a drawer, put your laptop away, or remove the TV from your bedroom.
- Set a few designated times to check social media, email, and other messages. Avoid checking email and social media when you first wake up, as it can cause a course change for the rest of your day.
- Unsubscribe from blogs you don’t read and discontinue using any social media platforms that leave you feeling stressed and depleted. If it doesn’t serve a positive role in your life, let it go.
- Consider a social media fast. Focus on building meaningful connections with friends and family, spending time with God in prayer, journaling, or engaging in another activity that fills your cup. Start with one hour a day or one day per week and build from there. You might also consider a “phone-free zone” during certain times of the day (e.g., during and after dinner) so you can cultivate stronger relationships with your family.
References:
- Chang, Lulu. (2015, June). Americans Spend an Alarming Amount of Time Checking Social Media on their Phones. Digital Trends. Accessed March 2, 2018 from https://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/informate-report-social-media-smartphone-use/
- Warren, Rick. (2018, September). Fill Your Mind with Biblical Truth. com. Accessed September 13, 2018 at https://pastorrick.com/fill-your-mind-with-biblical-truth/.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Jen Roland
Featured Image by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash
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