A message for those with a missing loved one.
I prayed for years to be where I am today. Though it was the hardest decision of my life, God said, “Go,” and opened every door with ease to make it happen.
I had a friend tell me something last spring that helped me put it all in perspective,
“If it’s God’s will, it will happen.”
So, while I grappled with whether to go, He was already setting every puzzle piece in place. He covered every inspection, repair, seller loan issue, packing, moving, searching, and buying. God made a cross-country move as easy as possible.
We were blessed.
Yet, in the aftermath, my heart aches as profoundly as it thumps in gratitude. It is not easy to leave family or to leave with unknown answers.
That brings me to a special message for those with missing family members.
Whether it’s one week or one year, the pain and heartache remain the same and grow deeper with every passing moment.
We breathe through the madness.
We search high and low.
We call every number, text every stranger, message every contact.
We send unread notes to our loved ones and pour love and hope into the silence.
But that’s what we get in return- SILENCE.
In that lonely space, we struggle. We question every decision, circling between the past and present. Guilt plagues right and wrong, as reason argues to set our minds at rest.
“You didn’t choose their choice. You can’t control their life. You can’t force a loved one to turn away from deterioration in chronic substance use. You tried, fought, helped, encouraged, provided, transported, fed, housed, and loved. You had to save you. Your mental decline and physical exhaustion couldn’t keep up. It was time.”
I wish the words of reason could cure the sting of pain. However, it’s constant. There are no words to fix this. Even when we know the truth, we wade daily in the ‘if only’ and ‘what if’ pool.
Life continues to move forward. Whether I shift ahead or not, we carry on. There are school events, bills to pay, and trash to take out. The daily happenings come with every sunrise.
I understand you are lost in your grief right now. The living grief is palpable and alive. Anger flows in and out of sadness and shame. The rarity of the situation intermixes with every feeling and emotion. There is no rhyme or reason.
Just keep going.
It’s all you can do.
Love those who stayed. Pray for those who abandoned their hope and passion to live and thrive. Believe one thing—it’s not your fault. You didn’t cause this, you can’t control their choices, and you can’t cure the situation. While the hurt hits you, it’s about the brokenness in them. So, pray they seek and find their worth and road to recovery.
Never give up. Take Jesus with you. He is with and for you. He sees and hears you. He understands and protects you. In all the distress, he will take care of you.
Trust Him.
Comments are closed.