Victorious!

June 19, 2023, marks twenty-four years since I had my abortion. For most of those years, I desperately avoided even thinking about what I had done, and I never acknowledged my baby. Four years ago, everything changed when I finally surrendered my story to God. Instead of running away from my past mistakes, I knew God wanted me to face them head-on. On the twentieth anniversary of my abortion, I went inside the former abortion clinic for the first time. It was the scariest thing I had ever done, but it also brought me so much healing.

Since then, every June 19th, I do something special to honor the baby I aborted. This year I decided to do something permanent. I’ve had a tattoo with the names of my living children for several years, but today, I added two butterflies to represent Taylor, the baby I aborted, and Micah, the baby I miscarried.

I also had the word “Victorious” tattooed on my wrist. This word has meant a lot to me for many years. Romans 8:37 says, “But in all these things we are completely victorious through God who showed His love for us.” As I have allowed God to heal my heart and use my story, I’ve realized that because of His great love for us, we really can triumph victoriously over the things that once had so much power over us. I decided to have it tattooed on my wrist as a reminder of the current battles I face and those to come in the future.

After getting my tattoos, I returned to the former clinic and spent some time praying and listening to the Father. I’m not sure how, but this place I once absolutely abhorred has become a peaceful place where God meets me so profoundly. Being there no longer affects me negatively or causes fear or shame to arise within me. With God’s grace and guidance, I have triumphed victoriously over the abortion I had when I was 16 and the clinic where it happened. The anniversary is still hard, there are still tears, and I still wish I had made a different choice. But God has turned what the enemy meant for evil into something beautiful for His glory.

He has made me victorious!

This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Tori Shaw

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About the Author

Tori Shaw is the founder of Not Forgotten Ministries and author of "Lead with Love," "Free Indeed," and "I Had a Secret for Seventeen Years." She is a Jesus-lovin’ homeschool momma with four kiddos! Tori and Bryan were high school sweethearts and have been married for 17 years! God began this ministry 22 years ago when Tori and Bryan found out about an unplanned pregnancy, and she had an abortion at 16 years old. God has healed her, and she walks in freedom. She desires the same for others who have walked a similar journey.

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