Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13 NIV
Forgiveness is one of the most challenging yet liberating acts we can ever experience. It requires vulnerability, strength, and a willingness to release the pain caused by others.
Many of us hold on to unforgiveness because it feels justified or protective and because we believe it lets them “off the hook”. But the truth is, that withholding forgiveness often wounds us more deeply than the original hurt. Through the power of God’s Spirit, forgiveness becomes the pathway to healing, freedom, and peace.
Life’s deepest wounds often come from the people we trust most. In Butterfly Stitches, I share my journey of navigating abuse, betrayal, and rejection—scars that could have easily hardened my heart forever. As a young child, I endured horrific physical and emotional abuse from my father. Later, I faced rejection and silence from those who should have stepped in to protect me.
These wounds carried the potential to create lasting bitterness and anger. And yet, the journey of forgiveness revealed something extraordinary: forgiveness does not excuse the offender, but it releases the wounded from the prison of resentment.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” Ephesians 4:31 ESV
Forgiveness often feels impossible, especially when the wounds run deep. But forgiveness is not a feeling—it is an act of faith. It’s choosing to trust that God’s justice is better than our revenge, that His grace is sufficient even in our pain.
I forgave my father without ever receiving an apology. I forgave because I was forgiven. This simple yet profound truth captures the essence of biblical forgiveness. It isn’t about the offender’s remorse or acknowledgment; it’s about our obedience to God and His call to forgive as we have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32).
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 ESV
When we forgive, we release the burden of seeking justice into God’s hands. Romans 12:19 reminds us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Forgiveness is not about letting someone off the hook—it’s about trusting God to handle the outcome.
How Forgiveness Heals Us
Forgiveness is not only a spiritual act but also a healing balm for our emotional and mental wounds. Carrying resentment weighs down the heart and clouds the mind. The energy spent replaying offenses or harboring bitterness keeps us from moving forward.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13b ESV
Forgiveness brought me emotional healing, particularly in my relationship with my father. Though he inflicted profound harm, my choice to forgive allowed me to experience freedom from the chains of his actions. A wound cannot heal in the midst of being torn. By forgiving, I created space for God to bind up my broken heart and begin my healing journey.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending the pain didn’t happen. It means acknowledging the wound, grieving the loss, and then choosing to let go of the offense. This act of release allows God’s healing power to flow into the broken places.
Written by Michele Vrabel, Author of Butterfly Stitches: The Metamorphosis of Healing.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on The Faith to Flourish
Featured Image by BenteBoe from Pixabay
