I tried to control my husband by nagging and criticizing him. In return, I got anger, resentment, and a man who didn’t like being around me.
If I believed God’s Word was true, it all had to be true. The Bible tells us to love and respect our husband’s role because God directs them to lead their families. (Ephesians 4:31-32 and Ephesians 5:22-23)
1. Put the Past Behind You
Surrender became my most daunting challenge. I grappled with following God’s commands on this submission issue. I’d been in an abusive marriage and feared what would happen, even though Arron, my husband, was a very godly man.
Amid my fears and doubts, God gently reminded me of His unwavering love and plan for my life. All I had to do was follow what He told me.
My challenge was to put my past behind me and give up control. I remember the day I told my husband I would follow him, trust him, and submit to his leadership. We cried and clung to each other because we knew we’d embarked on a new walk of faith for both of us.
2. Decide Who’s In Control of Your Life
Who’s in control of your life? We have a couple of choices.
We often take charge without God when we think we know enough to make good decisions. However, God continues to allow circumstances I never expected or hadn’t anticipated.
Our other option is to obey God’s commands and follow His instruction, as in the Bible. When we remember He has good things in store for us (Jeremiah 29:11), it’s easier to surrender our lives and marriages to Him.
When we surrender to God, we place ourselves under the care of the All-knowing and All-powerful God. He knows what is best for us and has the power to revolutionize our marriages. He desires to bless our lives and reignite the love in our marriages, filling us with endless possibilities for good.
3. Let Your Actions Follow Your Beliefs
Faith in Jesus Christ is not merely a belief; it’s a solid foundation for a Christian marriage. It’s a challenge to relinquish control of our thoughts and relationships without a personal relationship with God. However, when we do, we feel a deep sense of security and trust in His guidance.
What we believe and apply from the Bible shapes our ability to follow its teachings. The Word of God offers the direction and wisdom needed to build unbreakable bonds with our spouses.
4. Learn to Love and Forgive
We will see Him work in our hearts and relationships when we stop trying to control our lives and follow God’s plan. This may involve praying together as a couple, seeking spiritual guidance from a mentor or marriage coach to learn better conflict-resolution skills, or making decisions based on biblical principles.
God calls on us to love our mates unconditionally. We are to forgive their mistakes, learn to compromise, and tolerate the little things we do differently. Loving our husbands in this way deepens the intimacy we share with them and improves our ability to communicate with them.
Allowing God to manage our lives opens the door for His joy and peace. Knowing we are under His loving care evokes a sense of calm and contentment.
5. Rejoice as God Transforms Your Marriage
The changes often include a surge in love and respect between you and your husband, fewer arguments, and more cooperation. When we follow God’s plan for marriage, we open ourselves to His abundant blessings and life-altering power.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Joyce Zook
Featured Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay
