This blog is dedicated to my father who has been an amazing source of love and strength and has provided me a strong foundation in which to build my own character. He loved me at my lowest times and never gave up on me. He spoke truth and life into me even when I didn’t want to hear it. I am the man I am today because of the selfless love my father showed me.
I am a father to four incredible children: three girls and one boy. There’s a special bond between dads and their daughters—one that drives me to protect them fiercely. This commitment to protection extends equally to my son, though the expectations I have for him differ from those I have for my daughters. The father-son relationship often differs from the father-daughter dynamic, yet it’s crucial that a father remains just as present and protective of his son as he is of his daughters.
A father’s role is to raise his son to be strong, courageous, and brave. Equally important is teaching him to love selflessly, show respect, and embrace humility. The best example a son has is his father. Without this guidance, he might turn to social media, movies, video games, and other questionable influences for role models. This underscores the need for fathers to model these values themselves—showing love, respect, and humility in their own lives. Contrary to some beliefs, these qualities do not signify weakness but are essential to true strength.
For most men, being strong and brave comes naturally, but loving selflessly, showing respect, and practicing humility can be challenging. To love selflessly means to prioritize the well-being of one’s family over personal desires, often requiring a dismantling of pride and embracing of humility.
If a father fails to model these virtues, he risks failing his son and perpetuating negative cycles. Sons look to their fathers for understanding and guidance, especially in a world full of misleading ideologies. Fathers must walk alongside their sons, guiding them to live in truth and avoiding the detrimental messages about women, respect, and arrogance prevalent in media and culture.
Beyond instilling moral and ethical values, sons need the assurance of their father’s love and presence. They need to feel wanted, welcomed, and supported. Regular one-on-one time with your son—whether it’s mowing the lawn, playing video games, or cooking dinner—can strengthen this bond. Even if he declines your invitation initially, keep inviting him. Over time, he’ll come to appreciate and seek out this connection.
A father’s influence is profound. His responses to his son’s actions, especially in frustrating times, shape the son’s view of their relationship. A constant focus on criticism can erode a son’s self-confidence and distance him from his father. While it’s important to address mistakes and encourage improvement, how a father communicates—through kindness and constructive feedback—matters immensely.
Fathers, remember that you are pivotal in your son’s life. You have the power to build him up or tear him down. Strive to cultivate qualities of bravery, love, respect, and humility. There are no excuses for not doing what is right for our sons. We are accountable for the responsibility of fatherhood.
To those who lacked a positive father figure or whose fathers were absent, know that you can still provide a strong role model for your own son. There is a Father who has never abandoned you and who offers a perfect example of love, sacrifice, and humility. Seek a relationship with Him, and you will find guidance, forgiveness, and healing. If you want to learn more, please contact me.
Written by Dr. Kristopher Wallaert
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Christian Grandfather Magazine
Featured Image by hannahlmyers from Pixabay
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