Shifting Lanes for a Slower Pace of Life – I Surrender

“Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may your good spirit lead me on level ground.”  Psalm 143:10

Throughout high school, I spent many hours on the sidelines of wrestling tournaments.  My boyfriend was an avid wrestler and, aside from his parents, I was his biggest fan.  I’d cheer in excitement when he completed a “takedown,” and celebrate from the stands when he claimed a match victory.  I’d cringe when he struggled under the weight of his opponent, hoping he’d regain control and pin his competitor.

Occasionally, the matches would go into overtime, followed by multiple tie-breakers until one wrestler was announced the winner.  They seemed to go on forever, but the longest (and most famous) wrestling match in history was unquestionably the one between Jacob and the angel of God in Genesis chapter 32.

I Surrender

In this sacred story, Jacob is overwhelmed with anxiety as he awaits his encounter with his twin brother, Esau, who has plotted to kill him for stealing his blessing and birthright.  Jacob is approached by a “stranger” who wrestles with him until daybreak.  The man, an angel of the Lord, asks Jacob to let him go, but Jacob refuses to do so until he receives God’s blessing.  In a moment of surrender, God blesses Jacob and changes his name from Jacob (“deceiver”) to Israel, because he struggled with God and with humans and overcame (Genesis 32:28).

After years of wrestling with anxious thoughts, unanswered questions, false idols, and a misplaced identity, I, too, chose to surrender.  With a heart that yearned for more of Him and a soul in need of spiritual renewal, I cried out to Jesus, confessed my sins, and invited Him into every area of my life.  Like Jacob, I was exhausted, tired of the struggle, and unwilling to go on without God.  I realized I needed Him, and I asked Him to show me His will.  I longed to be led to “level ground” – to a place of greater stability and spiritual maturity.

“Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may your good spirit lead me on level ground.”  Psalm 143:10

Both Jacob and I entered our respective wrestling matches with fear and desperation, yet it was through the struggle that God began his deepest work in us.  The act of surrender opened the door for Him to strengthen our faith, calm our anxieties, and reshape our identities.  In the midst of the struggle, it was exhausting with no end in sight, but it turned out to be God’s gracious gift because it required us to seek refuge in Him.

Take a moment to listen to I Surrender by Hillsong Live.  If you’re in the midst of a struggle, I pray that you would view it as an opportunity to draw closer to God and allow Him to work in you.

Here I am
Down on my knees again
Surrendering all
Surrendering all

That moment of surrender was a turning point in my life, but the battle was far from over.   For two years, God took my family and me through a series of trials that taught me patience and perseverance, requiring me to develop a deeper reliance on Him.  Broken bones, a home infested with bed bugs, and a wounded marriage that required time and therapy to heal were all part of His plan.  In this period of “divine delay,” God used each challenge to mold and shape me to be more like Christ and to prepare me for what was to come.

The Right Lane

The act of surrender was analogous to me “switching lanes” again.  This time, I merged from the middle lane, marked by internal conflict, to the right lane where the “real work” began.  Through His grace, I began to pull the weeds of pleasing, perfecting, and performing so His truth could take root.  By His mercy, I started to set aside false idols of relationships and accomplishments that I had expected to fill the empty, broken places that only He could fill.  In choosing to live by faith, I developed a closer relationship with the Lord, and those unanswered questions became less important.  As I began to trust in His promises, I experienced less anxiety, and He slowly began to unfold His plan, giving my life new meaning and purpose.

As I shifted lanes, I came to this realization: the right lane has access to the exit ramp.  There are exceptional cases where a person goes through an intense moment of spiritual awakening that impacts their life in an instant; this is analogous to the less common left exit ramp.  But more often than not, the change is gradual – an accumulation of several lesser influences through a variety of inputs that affect change in a person.  This was the case for me.

Once the veil was lifted, God’s “road signs” became impossible to ignore (2 Cor 3:16).  I hadn’t noticed them before, too busy keeping up with traffic and distracted by billboards advertising societal norms and worldly success.  But, there they were: 

An exit ramp to share my story.  A back road to writing words that would point others to Jesus.  People who rolled down their windows to say hello and who pulled over because they weren’t on a timetable.  Others who had chosen a similar path, who cheered me on, and who invited me to come alongside them in support of a unified purpose – to bring honor and glory to God.

I said “yes.”  To Jesus.  To the invitation to share my testimony.  To have opportunities to use my God-given gifts for His glory.  I took the exit ramp from a fast-paced life to a spirit-filled one.  And here’s what I found:

• A life characterized by less striving and greater contentment as I let go of perfectionism to pursue Him
• A greater sense of purpose in being part of something bigger than myself, and leaving a legacy for His glory
• Less anxiety as I trust in His plan and understand that I don’t have all the answers by design
• An acceptance of who I am and where I am because I understand my value is given by God, and I accept His gift of grace
• A new excitement for life as I have seen what God can do, and I wait expectantly to see what He will do next

Do these sound like things you want too?

How might God be using the wrestling matches in your life to teach you, grow you, and mold you into His image?

What blessings might you find in the wrestle?  Will you choose to surrender to Him?

Call To Action: When we don’t submit to God, we submit to something else (e.g., the opinions of others), opening the door to an attack on our soul.  This threatens our emotional stability and spiritual maturity, leading to anxiety and overwhelm.  To lead a simplified, spirit-filled life, we must surrender to the Lord. 

If you haven’t asked Him to come into your life and show you His will, consider watching the video, What Does It Mean to be Saved? by Pastor Rick Warren and praying the prayer at the end.