Confusion in Coping
Rock-bottom: the hard landing one hits in substance use that finally says ‘enough.’ It’s a bottom because everything from that point on is hard work and a climb out of the deepest recesses of their mind. Rock bottom relates to the consequences of behavior and choices of the person battling addiction.
Craft Method: The method families take to find new ways to accept their loved one’s current condition/illness when the loved one isn’t interested in helping themself, to learn to communicate, use positive reinforcement, and learn new strategies to take care of yourself and your family.
These two terms are often pinned against one another because one falsely suggests that families completely disconnect as they wait and watch the destruction of substance use ravage their loved one to ‘rock bottom.’
I’m not sure why or how they intersect, as Craft has nothing to do with the actions or behaviors in substance use but how families can deal with them. Rock bottom isn’t a family approach; it’s a reality of those in addiction. Families don’t use this term to describe how they deal with their loved ones, and it refers to the consequences of behavior changes caused by chronic substance use.
The facts are a person begins to heal at this place, or they fall through one trapdoor after another in relapse, or they lose their life to addiction.
No Shame in Distance
Families choose to disconnect from addiction for various reasons- usually justifiably. They do not need guilt or shame for that heartbreaking decision that probably came years and years after trying to do all they could to help.
Their loved one probably lost their home, vehicle, multiple jobs, and even the kids. They’ve been to jail and prison over and over. Hospitalized on several occasions, families have grown weary. Loved ones enter treatment, leave early or get out and relapse. Their behavior became unsafe for the families to be around. It became apparent that addiction had taken such hold of their minds they didn’t and can’t care.
Families probably experienced drunken rage, meth psychosis, paranoia, suicidal attempts, and assault. They’ve walked on eggshells at every gathering.
Family members watched as handcuffs were slapped on in front of young children, as rage led to a jail visit. Kids watched ankle monitors, and mom or dad could not leave the house. Kids heard the screaming and fighting and witnessed the passing out in the middle of the day. Kids were victims in a drunk parent’s vehicle. Kids found the empty bottles, needles, and syringes.
So, yes, families disconnect. Not because they stop loving their loved ones but because their life matters, too. The mental wellness of a mother and father watching the effects of chronic substance use has to be managed and prioritized. The long-term problems of another’s addiction include high blood pressure, anxiety, heart attack, and depression, to name a few. One health problem typically leads to another. The safety of all became more important than anything else. The well-being and care of innocent, exceptional children took precedence over addiction.
Recovery Comes When an End Occurs
Addicts worldwide are recovering after finally reaching that hard place we call Rock Bottom- the point where they said enough and began their climb. Families didn’t ‘allow’ them to get there. Chronic substance use did.
So, let’s clarify this point:
Rock Bottom is NOT a method. It’s a destination in the horrific journey of substance use addiction. And no matter what method families use to handle their feelings and emotions, connections, and communications, every single addict will reach this place. It may be for the turnaround (it’s what we all pray for), or it may be death.
There needs to be an end to the conflict of the term rock bottom- and an understanding of what it means.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Authentic Truths
Featured Image by Matteo Badini on Unsplash
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