EXPEDITION MARRIAGE: 
When One of You Shuts Down – Understanding the Avoider in Marriage

Chris and Jamie Bailey

EXPEDITION MARRIAGE: 
When One of You Shuts Down - Understanding the Avoider in Marriage

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THE EXPEDITION MARRIAGE PODCAST

WITH HOSTS CHRIS AND JAMIE BAILEY

AUDIO PODCAST

Do you ever feel like you’re talking to a wall? Or maybe like you’re carrying all the emotional weight in your marriage? If so, you might be married to an Avoider—someone who disconnects emotionally, struggles with vulnerability, and often insists they’re “fine” when they’re anything but.

In today’s episode, we’re taking a deeper look into what emotional avoidance really is, where it comes from, and—most importantly—how to build emotional safety and connection in a marriage where one spouse tends to shut down.

💬 “Being married to an avoider doesn’t mean your spouse doesn’t care—it often means they were never taught how to engage emotionally in healthy ways.”

🧭 What You’ll Learn:

• The traits and mindset of the Avoider Love Style
• Why emotional shutdown isn’t personal—it’s protective
• What it’s really like being married to an avoider
• How their childhood may have shaped their emotional patterns
• Practical and biblical tools to invite connection and build trust
• Encouragement for avoiders to grow emotionally and spiritually

📖 Scriptures Mentioned:

• Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted…”
• Ezekiel 36:26 – “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.”

🎯 Take Action:

• Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for biblically based marriage resources and counseling.
• Share this episode with a friend who may be married to an avoider.
• Don’t forget to leave a rating or review to help more couples discover hope and healing.

💡 You’re not stuck in a cycle of disconnection—there is hope, growth, and emotional intimacy waiting on the other side of avoidance. Let’s start the journey together.

🧭 Follow-Up:

Explore more ways to build your marriage at ExpeditionMarriage.org and don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!

Closing Reminder: A great marriage isn’t found—it’s built. One intentional step at a time.

Links mentioned on the show: 

Not Your Average Man (NYAM) PODCAST https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-average-man/id1640507187

30-Day Praying for your Husband https://expeditionmarriage.org/30-day-praying-for-your-husband-challenge/

30-Day Praying for your Wife https://expeditionmarriage.org/30-day-praying-for-your-wife-challenge/

Newlywed Couples Devotional https://expeditionmarriage.org/newlywed-couples-devotional/

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About the Author

Chris and Jamie Bailey are professional Christian counselors and marriage coaches. They run their private practice as well as online ministry, Expedition Marriage, from their home in Fort Mill, SC. They are the parents of three adult daughters and two adorable grandchildren. Together they run weekend marriage retreats, offer guest speaking, one day seminars, as well as run workshops in person and online. Together they hope to encourage Christian marriages and help them thrive abundantly.

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