Meddling In-Laws

On their wedding day, a man and a woman trade in their unmarried lifestyle to form a new couple. Together they determine their best qualities and develop an original entity as a married team. After we marry our men, the Bible instructs us to leave our pasts behind and unite with our grooms.

Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24 (AMP)

Families of origin often play a role in our choices, but I don’t believe they should be the deciding factor. The Bible says to leave our pasts behind and create a new identity as we unite with our husbands.

A Little Distance Can Help

Parents and mentors often provide wise advice, but we should not permit their ideas to keep us from determining what is best for our marriages.

Each couple must decide if they will move closer to a new job or near their parents. A move to a location other than where our families lived allowed us to develop our unique identities. The change in cities provided the freedom we needed to establish our habits and traditions without as much influence from our relatives.

It’s not the right choice for every couple to move away from home. But a move might be the best solution if either person struggles to put the other one ahead of their parents or in-laws. 

We decided to follow my husband’s career in the first few years of marriage, not mine. This choice meant we lived in many places, including Germany and Hawaii. We traveled throughout Europe, the Orient, and much of The United States. We’ve made twenty-six moves in over forty-five years, developing our unique habits and traditions.

How to deal with meddling in-laws:

1. Maintain a united front
2. Establish boundaries and stick to them
3. Don’t ignore the problem
4. Communicate directly with the offending party
5. Try to avoid quick reactions