Have you thought or said any of these lately?
- Life should be fair
- Opportunities will fall in my lap
- Everyone should like me
- People should agree with me
- People know what I’m trying to say
- Things and stuff will make me happy
- I can change him
~Pastor Edward Crouch
Unrealistic expectations
Each of these statements is an unrealistic expectation that causes unending sadness, unhappiness, or disappointment. We end up not liking our job, ourselves, or anybody else. The fact is, we’ll probably be quite mad at the whole world if we let ourselves go there.
Let’s look at these expectations again.
Life should be fair – If hubby gets something, I should too. But maybe I don’t want the same thing he does. He wants to go on a trip, and I prefer staying home. He wants to play golf, and I like coffee with a friend. My friend gets a new car; I should at least upgrade mine.
Life should be fair – it isn’t, but it is full of God’s plans for us
Opportunities will fall in my lap. We think we’ll find the perfect house, get our dream job, and our friends will always like us. But life takes work. The ideal home is way out of our budget, and if we ever find a dream job, parts of it we won’t like.
Opportunities will fall into our laps- more often, we work hard for them
Everyone should like me. Sometimes we do stupid stuff, and our friends avoid us for a while. We don’t always like our husbands, but we’re committed to loving one another and working through our challenges. Then there are those people we can’t stand being around. Maybe we seem that way to someone else.
Everyone should like me – not everyone will like us
People should agree with me – Our husbands should agree with us. We’re as smart as they are and have lived life too. Those things are, but they are also the reasons we’re different. Do we want clones of ourselves? That would spoil the fun of the two people coming together and becoming a unique couple.
People should agree with me – not everyone will agree with us
People know what I’m trying to say- Our husbands can’t read our minds and don’t always pick up on our hints. I said, “I don’t want to cook tonight.” He thought I wanted him to take me out to dinner, which is true sometimes. But this time, I wanted him to help me in the kitchen. How’s he supposed to figure out which I want if I don’t tell him?
People know what I’m trying to say – but they can’t read our minds
Things and stuff will make me happy. Now be honest. How many times have you bought one more nail polish, cute, irresistible shoes, a new novel, or a candy bar because you thought they’d bring you happiness? Real joy and happiness come from God, not stuff.
Things and stuff will make me happy – but it seldom does for very long
I can change him. – No, you can’t. Our husbands adjust to our actions and circumstances around them or because God convicts them to change. Our consistent respect and love encourage our guys, but nagging words become a roadblock to any improvements.
I can change him – the only person we can change is ourselves
Ok, so what’s the point?
Are we always going to be disappointed? Yes, if we expect any of these statements to be right all the time. We might find occasions when they’re accurate, but it won’t happen often.
Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes that seeking joy in stuff or pleasure is meaningless. (Ecclesiastes 2:1) Our real joy comes from knowing God.
You (God) will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of Your presence and the pleasures of living with You forever. ~Psalm 16:11
This is an updated edition of a post originally published onJoyce Zook
Featured Image by StockSnap from Pixabay
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