As we consider talking to people and serving them, even inviting them to church, what happens when they invite us to something?
You’ll get invitations from non-Christians to thoroughly non-Christian events—bachelor/bachelorette parties, get-togethers, celebrations of all kinds, and holiday parties. Or maybe just lunch with a few colleagues.
Should you go?
Some of us who are more socially active would give an unqualified yes, and wonder why I even pose the question. As long as there are friends, food, and fun involved, why not?
Then there are the rest of us—folks not exactly inclined to accept social invitations. We think of the time and energy outlay and the awkwardness of being in a mix of folks we don’t know. So…nah.
Let me suggest you go to the event.
With a generous helping of spiritual discretion.
Jesus spent an incredible amount of time with non-religious, unholy people. Noticing this habit of His, the Pharisees, the religious experts of the day, said to the disciples of Jesus, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” But when he [Jesus] heard it, he said, ‘those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick’” (Luke 5:30-31).
He didn’t try to minimize their sinful condition or defend what they were doing. Instead, Jesus diagnosed their sin as a sickness of soul. And He called Himself a doctor.
When He attended a party, He didn’t go as a bored single guy looking for some fun, but as a physician making a house call.
Still, I doubt He went and stood aloof in the corner with arms folded. Much to the contrary, this “doctor” seemed to have had an unparalleled bedside manner. In the space of short conversations, sinners opened up their lives to Him.
I remember the first time I got invited to a party after coming to faith in Christ. I was young and clueless—didn’t know whether to be stiff, religiously somber, or funny, John. Even in my pre-Christian life, I hadn’t possessed a lot of social fung-shuei.
That day turned into a learning experience for me.
The birthday party was for a fellow who had a drinking problem and anger management issues. But he liked me. “I want John to come,” he told his sister, who then transmitted the request to me. So I went. I arrived fifteen minutes after the official start time, and the guy was already a couple of six packs down. “Hhhhhhhiiiiii,” he said, blowing a cloud of Budweiser breath into my face.
Now what, Jesus? Nobody’s interested in the Bible in this place. This isn’t my scene.
But that wasn’t the point.
When you go to the party, you don’t show up as the lone healthy dude who has graciously condescended to come save all those sick, dirty people. You bring the doctor. You don’t assume to be Him.
We’re actually all sick people in various stages of recovery. Yes, some of us have received an immunization by having already believed in the cross of Jesus. But even then, we’re not disease-free. You could say we’re sick folks on the mend, hoping to help other sick folks. We’re like interns in hospital gowns, following Christ around, watching him chart patients, learning how to serve others so they won’t die like we were going to.
Learn to ask yourself a couple of big questions and then be honest with the answers.
By going, am I inadvertently reintroducing myself to a prior addiction/ temptation? Jesus told the disciples to “Watch and pray, that you may not enter into temptation” (Matt. 26:41). Temptation is serious business. If Jesus gave such a stern warning about it, we shouldn’t take it lightly. Flirting with sin is like setting fire to a bale of hay. You can’t realistically expect for it to burn halfway and then suddenly go out. Yes, “the spirit is willing” to obey Jesus, but don’t be foolishly confident and forget that “the flesh is weak.”
By going, does this represent a bad habit of trying to harmonize my Christian life with a life of sin? Paul said, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14). Visiting and socializing with people in their chosen contexts is one thing. But when you seek to yoke yourself, to share purpose and direction with unbelievers, your faith will become increasingly anemic. Similarly, if you partner “righteousness with lawlessness,” it will result in a casual approach to morality. Joining “light with darkness”—mixing them—only results in an ambiguous grey. You will end up with a diluted Christian life, not walking in the light, but walking in twilight.
By going, will I personally participate in sin? 1 Thessalonians 5:22 says, “Abstain from every form of evil.” Dick Staub, Christian author and cultural commentator, wrote about being invited to a birthday party, but discovering in advance that two lesbian strippers had been hired to provide the entertainment. Though he had a good practice of accepting invitations to events for the sake of Jesus and the gospel, he found a way to be somewhere else that night. There’s a premium of wisdom involved when attending a function created and controlled by the unsaved. At any rate, we must be true to our identity in Christ and to the Savior who redeemed us.
Each of the above questions reflects a healthy fear of sin. That’s because you can never assume you won’t get caught up in it.
Even healthcare providers have a reasonable level of concern about getting sick from tending to the needs of those who are ill. That’s why doctors and nurses wash their hands and disinfect them continually. They guard against being stuck with old needles or inhaling contagion of various sorts.
No matter how liberal Christians spin it otherwise, there’s nothing heroic about being morally or ethically careless.
Go have a good time with friends, but don’t be a fool.
When He was criticized for hanging out with sinners and tax collectors, Jesus said, “Wisdom is justified by her deeds” (Matt. 11:19). In due course, His attendance at their social events proved that wisdom, not foolishness, was involved.
How so?
Well, many of the sinners He ate with went on to repent and live a holy life. They started following Him. All of this indicates that when Jesus was at get-togethers, He wasn’t casually there. As the Great Physician, He was checking charts the whole time, taking temps, and blood pressure. He went with a purpose.
The embedded lesson for us interns: Also, go with a kingdom purpose. Be pleasant. Have fun.
And don’t get sick yourself.
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This is an updated edition of a post originally published on John Myer
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