I hate confrontation. I will avoid it at all costs. I get sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I’d much rather run from a situation or hide from it than get into a tumultuous event. Some people just seem to be looking to pick a fight and I want no part of that.
Yet I was reading something in Bible Study recently that really pricked my heart. It was talking about Paul in the Bible and all the things he went through (some of which he could have avoided) being beaten, stripped, imprisoned, etc. And yet we find him in jail praying and singing praises and hymns to God! Does that not just blow you away? I think if I were in prison I’d be in a ball crying my eyes out!
The thing is – Paul found something that so many of us either don’t find or fail to see is ours if we ask for it – and that is God’s strength and peace. Somehow, someway in the midst of his horrible ordeals, He was able to access a strength that was not his own. He found a strength that surpassed his own human understanding and with it came the peace that His great God was in control and would take care of him.
That knowledge really humbles me because here I am doing anything I can to avoid suffering, hurt, and loss in the world, and Paul experienced all of that and yet he could still sing in prison? I want that kind of faith.
Years ago I would be afraid to say that aloud for fear that God would grant me my request. I would be afraid that He’d send all sorts of trials and tribulations my way just so that I could discover “that kind of faith.” But now I look at it in a different light. I see that it’s that very kind of faith that can make less of any trial or tribulation when normally you would fear they would break you. It’s the kind of faith that sweeps over you with such assurance that your heart is filled with a calm peace, a solid strength, and an acceptance of what “is.” Oh to have that kind of faith!
I am so humbled. I experience so little compared to some of the men and women of the Bible – heck to some of the men and women around me and yet, I act so frailly.
“For God did not give us a spirit of fear or timidity but of power, love, and self control.”
That’s what I want to be about. That’s what I want to claim. That’s who I want to be.
I don’t want to run anymore. I want to feel God fill me with His strength and power. I want to let Him work through me. It’s time to start lifting my head high and holding onto the One who holds my life in His hands.
This world is all about battles and though I’d rather not fight them, I don’t want to run from them anymore. God’s Glory can never be shown when I do.
Featured Image by Jessica Da Rosa on Unsplash
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