Accept Him as He Is

When our sons got serious about a girl and thought about marriage, I asked them to consider three situations before they got married

Would he still love the girl who was nine months pregnant and no longer the slim trim gal she is now? How about the woman with the flu leaning over the toilet throwing up? Or how about the emotional woman in the middle of PMS griping about the house, her toes, and you? 

God receives us with our faults and hang-ups and then guides us to become more like Him. The Lord tells us to follow His example by accepting our husbands without making them act as we want. 

God’s Working in Your Husband 

Too many women think, “I’ll get him to change (Here is a great blog on Expectations) once we’re married.” Wrong! You can’t transform your husband into your ideal man. You aren’t his personal Holy Spirit. That’s God’s job. God has a plan for your husband. And He’s working His plan in His time and His way.

If you try changing your man, he’ll become stubborn and rebel or keep doing what you’d like him to do your way. He may verbally attack you and what you do or give you the silent treatment.

Our husbands adjust their words and behavior when we alter our actions. It doesn’t happen because of what we say but as a response to our more loving attitudes.

One Person Can Make a Difference

Imagine two people on the dance floor swaying to the music, and one leaves to get a drink. The other person follows, returns to their table, or picks another partner. It’s impossible to keep moving in the same direction if one person changes. 

Our marriages improve in the same way. Our men make adjustments because they observe our consistent and more goldy behavior. 

Prove Your Acceptance 

Prove your acceptance. Try NOT to change your husband in any way.  

The first fight my husband and I had was about how to make oatmeal. He liked his thick, and I preferred my oatmeal thinner. When I tried to convince him my way was right, he became more insistent that he wanted his oatmeal his way. 

Solution: Make two bowls of oatmeal – one thick and one thin. 

My husband used to leave piles around our house; papers, books, and magazines by the couch or unread mail.

Solution: Put a basket at each place he made a pile. The containers made our stuff look tidy, and I felt more comfortable in our home.

Socks 

Does your husband leave dirty socks on the bedroom floor?

Solutions: Ask him politely to pick them up and put them in the laundry basket. If he doesn’t do it, accept his choice. Now you have two options; pick them up yourself and put them in the wash, or leave them where they are. 

If you leave the socks, they won’t get washed, or he’ll trip them. He might buy more socks or choose to pick them up himself. Or he could ask you to pick them!

He’s God’s Gift to You

Accept your man as God’s precious gift to you and the man you chose for better or worse. Accept your husband and let God do His work.