Towards the end of my father-in-law’s life, I began calling him every day. We would chat late in the afternoon. I would tell him funny stories about the grandkids and ask him how he was doing. He would share with me stories of his childhood and adventures from his teen years. I loved my late afternoon phone calls with him. What struck me most, though, about those conversations was the way they always ended. Dad would say, “I love you dearly, Becky.” Those words were water to my thirsty soul. Growing up, I didn’t hear those words from my father, so even as an adult, God used my father-in-law’s words to bring healing to my wounded soul.
All of us long to know at the core of our humanity that we are dearly loved. That we are accepted and cherished just as we are. This need is intrinsic from infancy. Studies done on children left in orphanages support this. “The Budapest Early Intervention Project” (BEIP), a project that examined the health and development of children in Romanian orphanages, found startling evidence that when infants and children are starved of love and affection, their bodies do not grow as they should. (1) What’s amazing is that once these children are adopted and loved, held, and cuddled, their growth resumes.
The same holds true in our spiritual adoption. When we receive God’s love and nurturing, our souls begin to thrive – no matter what the past has held. The problem for many is that they know in their heads God loves them, but they don’t feel it in their hearts. That may be true for you. You might even wonder, “Does God want me to feel His love?” The categorical answer is, Yes!
I’ve often wondered if the Apostle Paul had difficulty feeling loved by God. I mean, he had arrested and murdered people who followed Jesus before he became a follower himself. When I get to heaven, I think I’m going to ask him if he had trouble feeling God’s love. It’s been said that we write to our deepest need. Paul wrote, “Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12). I love that phrase, “dearly loved.” Friend, that’s how God feels about you!
Just as my father-in-law would say at the end of every conversation, “I love you dearly, Becky,” God speaks that over you. The times when you pray and wonder if he is listening, He whispers, ‘I love you dearly, my child’. The times when pain enters your world and your tears flow, He reassures, ‘I love you dearly, my child’. The times, when fear overwhelms you and you feel panic wrap around your soul, He strengthens your heart reminding you, ‘I love you dearly, my child’.
So what do you do if you’re having trouble feeling loved?
Praise God by faith that He loves you. As we praise Him, the Holy Spirit strengthens our souls to believe with more confidence. The more you praise God for His love, the more you’re going to feel loved.
Meditate on Scriptures that remind you of God’s love. Scriptures like Zephaniah 3:17, Colossians 3:12, or Psalm 103:8 are all great to start with. Write them on index cards and pull them out when you need a little reminder.
Ask Him to help you feel His love. I believe God loves it when we simply ask, “Lord, help me to feel Your love today. May I rest assured that You love me completely.” God wants us to be relaxed in His love, and so He invites us to ask.
Friend, the truth is the deeper you sink into God’s love, the more secure your soul will be and the more you will be able to love others out of the overflow of that secure heart. I believe that’s God’s desire for both you and me.
Gather some friends and dive into what it looks like to trust God. Tethered Trust is a very short study meant for you to do with a few close girlfriends. You can easily do it in a weekend away together or as a small group 4 week study. Purchase here.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Becky Harling
Featured Image by Christian Gabele from Pixabay
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