We fight from the home to the street, to the courtroom, to the jail, to the hospital bedside. Moms of loved ones in addiction have probably sat and supported in every way possible.
This can go on for years and years. Eventually, the damage from addiction will begin to fracture the tender heart and mental health of a broken mother. Feeling ashamed at failing to help her child takes a toll. The letdown of continued substance use devastates even the toughest of parents. Repeated behaviors that lead to arrests, toxic relationships, detox, jail, and overdose tear us apart.
Turning to God isn’t always easy. You have a heightened sense that you’ve let him down somehow. All you wanted was to raise your child for his kingdom, but today, they only live for their own.
“Where did I go wrong, Lord?”
In all the parenting we do, we expect rebellion here and there. We teach about free will and personal choices that lead to lifting up or self-sabotage. But when it comes to a mindset in addiction after long-term substance use, we struggle to relate the two. But still, action equals consequence.
Addiction is an illness brought on by choice. Science has proven some are more susceptible to tendencies of addiction given their DNA history.
But it’s not by involuntary action.
No- it is by choice to use once, twice, and over and over.
I never use addiction as an illness to justify bad behaviors and poor decisions. The need to feed addiction will drive people to do just about anything. The aftermath of chronic substance use is painful.
Every mom will battle for their child. However, the toughest battle will be on her knees in desperate prayer. Letting go and letting God is probably the hardest thing she will do.
She will be exposed. The insecurity to trust will show. Her fear will be seen. Her shattered pieces will be gathered.
God always saw and knew the intimate parts of your soul- it’s the reflection and realization of how far you traveled from Him to chase your child that will frighten and convict you. It’s knowing you believed yourself more powerful and able that will knock you down a few pegs. The attempt to control an uncontrollable situation will shed light on your worldly strongholds.
Surrender feels like defeat until you begin to rise again. Surrender opens the gate to freedom, acceptance, and release. You will continue fighting, but you will know the battle was never yours.
God will carry you through. He heard your cries and knows your heart.
You are covered, my friend. Fully and perfectly covered.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Authentic Truths
Featured Image by Olivia Snow on Unsplash
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