There are times when we should address a problem and times when we shouldn’t. Often there is confusion about just when or if it’s right to proceed. Here are 8 questions or areas of concern to consider when you’re at that crossroad. My prayer is that they might bring you greater clarity on when to confront and when to surrender the situation to God …
- Have you prayed about if you should respond? Do you feel God nudging you to talk to your spouse or to wait and let Him deal with your spouse?
- Have you prayed about how to respond? Have you given yourself time to calm down and have a sense of God’s leading in what to address?
- Is the person under unusual stress or bothered by some recent event? Would addressing the issue now get lost in the chaos of the moment?
- Is this a recurring pattern where the person may be unaware of the negative impact it has on you?
- Have you given your spouse time to calm down? Are you feeling impatient to find resolution rather than caring for the relationship?
- Have you sincerely and completely acknowledged and apologized for your part? Is that a step you should take before confronting?
- Have you taken the time to envision and empathize with what your offender might have felt during the conflict? Is your compassion for you spouse equal or even stronger than your anger?
- Have you discussed the offending actions/attitude with your spouse before and feel confident that he/she knows how you feel? Would confronting again be the best motivator for change?
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Worthy Bible Studies
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