Imagine for a moment that it is one of the good days.
You’re filled with an unfamiliar surge of energy.
Self-aware that these moments are fleeting, you take action.
Stepping outside for a walk with a little skip in your stride.
Engaging with your surroundings as sunshine bathes your skin in the warmth of its hug.
A slight, crisp breeze whips in the air.
You’re comfortable in your skin instead of crawling in it.
The autumn trees are turning into a vibrant burst of glorious beauty.
Observing the chatter of the world around you.
From the top of the trees down to the roots in the ground.
A smile spreads across your face.
You spot a few deer grazing in the wide-open field to your right.
What must it be like to be so free?
Suddenly, the leaf-covered path grows narrow.
You start to feel overwhelmed, uncertain, and anxious.
Breath quickening; mood now unpredictable.
A tightness building in your chest.
Air feels captured in your lungs.
You’re suffocating as the world around you turns from calm to explosive.
The river flowing alongside your path begins to rage.
It starts to rise higher in unison with your emotions.
Deeper and more violent with each passing minute.
Your fear intensifies.
Terrified it will overcome the land where you stand and swallow you up in its angry fit.
Quickening the pace, you stumble.
You’re unable to outrun what’s to come.
Panic sets in.
Bracing for impact.
Searching for a break in the havoc, you freeze.
Suddenly the sky above dims fast.
Gone is the bright & glorious warmth that was beaming down.
The landscape is now covered in a blanket of darkness.
A swirling cyclone of false narrative ensues.
Random bones feel like they are breaking as you shudder violently.
Racing thoughts seize control of your body.
Your veins fill with unrest.
A season of depression takes grip.
Logic is lost amongst the chaos.
Morphing into someone unrecognizable.
You feel completely lost and forsaken.
Over a steep bank, you tumble.
Being thrown into the raging river.
No life preserver. Seemingly no support.
Up ahead, a wall of water leading down to a crash landing onto the sharp landscape below.
Repeatedly pulled under by the strength of the currents.
Regaining your footing feels impossible.
Overcome with despair, you feel hopeless.
Dangerous thoughts take over.
Believing that no one cares and you’re better off unalive.
These lies hold you captive.
They keep you teetering the line of life and death.
Each passing day leaves you feeling wretched.
Experiencing joy evades you.
No activity worth pursuing.
Pushing on with each new sunrise seemingly pointless.
The gloom steals any remaining give a damn.
As you lie there, distraught and wounded, a break in the clouds appears.
You blink away a stream of burning tears.
Hungry to see what’s above.
A strong voice speaks loud, yet as a whisper.
Staking a claim on what you hear and taking hold of your heart.
You cease slaying your demons with dull swords.
Trading them in for impenetrable armor.
Faith weakens the words that keep dropping you to your knees.
Overwhelming love washes over you.
Glory be to the one who can conquer the mightiest of wars on the mind.
Whose battle cry is for you to live out your purpose and know your worth.
Take heed and lead others.
To shun the deceit.
Turn a cheek to the madness and stand proud on two feet.
Written by Geena Hymer
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Jesslyn McCutcheon-Fighting Goliath for Mental Illness
Featured Image by Bastian Ungnade from Pixabay
