As we continue in Proverbs 17, we are looking at offenses today. It’s not a popular topic to discuss, however, it’s necessary to know how to respond when offended.
How do we deal with offenses in the proper way as Christ-followers?
I believe the Bible does give us some tools to help us in this area. Here’s one of those tools: “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.: Proverbs 17: 9
Does covering over an offense mean that we should not address the hurt?
No, it does not mean that. We should talk about our hurts as we process through the offense. I would recommend talking with the one who hurt us as an appropriate place to begin. Talk to God first; He is a great listener who never interrupts! He will instruct us on how to address the issue.
Let’s look at another similar scripture that explains how an offense (that is not worked through) may progress further in a negative direction. That scripture is: “Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.” Proverbs 10: 12
Covering all wrongs means to promote forgiveness.
Is that possible? Yes, through the Spirit of God.
When I saw the word “hate,” it seemed a little strong to me. When we are offended, we get hurt and the wound develops in our hearts then hatred can crop up within, if we don’t process it correctly.
That’s why it’s important to discuss the matter immediately.
Remember, the verse, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger…” Ephesians 4: 26 Anger should not go unnoticed, or ignored, that’s why we need to process through it, hold on to what is good, and let go of what isn’t. Easier said than done, I know! A good counselor can help you work through this process.
If anger grows in our hearts, unchecked, it turns to bitterness and being hateful. When that happens, the anger is now controlling us.
Warning: Anger that has grown into bitterness will erode away your peace, contentment, and even your good health.
Choosing to not retaliate when we are hurt and offended is the correct way to respond.
Learn NOT to react and strike back to the offense. Here’s why: “If a man pays back evil for good, evil will never leave his house.” Proverbs 17: 13
One other reason never to retaliate is that:
Two wrongs do not make a right.
The second misdeed doesn’t cancel the first.
As we read along in the chapter we get this great advice: “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so, drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” Proverbs 17: 14
Sometimes it’s just wise to drop the matter if the discussion is heading towards a quarrel.
When a dam is breached or released, a large, devastating flood may occur; and more damage will be done affecting others.
Make the choice NOT to go this route.
The cleanup will take longer.
Years of pain and suffering have occurred in people’s lives because the matter wasn’t dropped, and the dam was released.
“He who loves a quarrel loves sin; he who builds a high gate invites destruction.” Proverbs 17: 19
The walls of that high gate built are named PRIDE.
“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17: 22
Having a cheerful heart is like a time-released medication. Living with a crushed spirit will debilitate our lives.
Seek help and let’s get healthy.
Father, may we restrain our words and operate as a man/woman of understanding who is even-tempered.
KINGDOM ASSURANCE
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