100% of all people are faith-based.
Faith, by its very definition, is not provable. There’s no test tube or petri dish experiment where you can absolutely show that much of what we base our lives on is true. There are no equations that can absolutely prove much of what we believe. No matter what label you put on yourself, you are a person of faith.
This is so important when dealing with people in the business marketplace. Your prospects, customers, employees, and suppliers are all people of faith. They may deny it with all their hearts, but it’s true nonetheless.
Most of the people we interact with will describe themselves as secular. Not spiritual. They claim that they live their lives based on what they can see and prove. I’m sure you’ve heard them say:
- I don’t believe in God.
- I don’t believe in an afterlife.
These are remarkable statements because there is no way to prove either of them. What experiment can you do to prove there isn’t a God or an afterlife? It’s the same for Christians, there are no experiments to prove there is a God or an afterlife. Yes, we may be able to look at evidence and come to some conclusions, but it’s not proof. It still requires faith. But as David Foster Wallace insightfully said, we are all people of faith because we all worship.
There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. If you worship money and things, then you will never have enough. Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally plant you.
A Starting Point
Everybody is living for something. And those daily decisions are rooted in what they believe about some fundamental questions in life. We just can’t live our lives without at least some thoughts and beliefs on these very important faith-based questions.
- What are we here for?
- Where did we come from?
- Is there a life after this one?
- What’s wrong with people and this world?
- What would fix this world?
- How should I live my life?
Monologue vs. Dialogue
So, where do we start to help and engage with the people around us? The best way to begin is by watching late-night talk shows. All the network shows basically follow the format pioneered by Johnny Carson. They start with a monologue, where the host gets up and talks while everyone listens.
But after a commercial break, the host sits down and invites guests to come, sit, and talk. During this dialogue, no one person is in charge. Everyone has an equal voice. Their thoughts and opinions are listened to with respect.
Teaching Monologue
Just like the start of a late-night talk show, a Teaching Monologue is where one person does all the talking and everyone else does all the listening. Today, however, is a very different day. Instead of there being truth that comes from the outside, all truth comes from within. Everyone gets to figure out what’s true for them. Everyone does what’s right in their own eyes. But it doesn’t end there. No one can tell anyone that they are wrong.
This makes the traditional Teaching Monologue ineffective with people in the marketplace of ideas. Yes, the Teaching Monologue continues to be effective within the Christian community and other places where lots of people can agree on how life works. But here in our individualistic, enlightenment-flooded, Western culture, it’s just not working and hasn’t been for some time.
Reasoning Dialogue
A Reasoning Dialogue is like the second part of a late-night talk show where there is informed and respectful back-and-forth between everyone. The best example is how the Apostle Paul spoke with people in Athens.
So he reasoned in the synagogue with both Jews and God-fearing Greeks, as well as in the marketplace day by day with those who happened to be there. Acts 17:17 NIV
When he reasoned with them, he dialoged with them.
He didn’t speak from in front or from on high. He got down with them and engaged with them. It was a discussion that went back and forth. He builds a relationship and trust based on listening and treating others with respect.
Paul personally did his research. He knew and understood what they believed. He walked through the city and saw that it was full of idols. He quotes their own writers. And he uses their own thinking to open up questions that they couldn’t answer. He points to one of their own temples that’s dedicated TO AN UNKNOWN GOD and goes from there.
The secret of Reasoning Dialogue is to start with what they know. Even though we disagree with them, they are made in the image of God. We need to see them as our neighbors. People like us, no better or worse. People that Jesus died for.
Thick Skin
It’s one thing to reach out and love people in a way that they can understand. But when you do, you’d better be ready for the enemy to unload on you. You better be prepared for people to make fun of you. They called Paul a babbler. He wasn’t educated. He was an intellectual lightweight and couldn’t think himself out of a paper bag.
You can look and look, but you won’t find the Apostle Paul fighting back. He didn’t get angry and yell at them either. As a matter of fact, there’s nothing in the historical record about Paul doing anything against them.
Where
While the words and ideas that Paul said are very important, so is the where. He went to where people were already gathering. He went to where they already were. He adjusted to their place and time. Where they were already comfortable.
And Paul didn’t preach and run. He spoke with them again and again. By returning and answering their questions, he built relationships over time. They needed time to chew on what’s been said, and he gave it to them. He also needed time to pray and think about their questions. He was so well thought of that he was invited to speak with the brightest and best people of his day. He earned that invitation one meeting at a time. One question at a time. One person at a time.
The Big Question
So, how can we become more and more like the second half of a late-night talk show? Where we learn about people and sit down with them. To become more of a Reasoning Dialogue kind of person. Here are eight steps to start walking towards becoming more of a Reasoning Dialogue kind of person.
- Time. You didn’t become who you are overnight. And, more than likely, you’re not going to be transformed into thinking and acting like a Reasoning Dialogue kind of person in a flash. Becoming thoroughly equipped takes time and effort.
- Focus. Don’t try and learn everything about everyone at one time. Concentrate on the people who are right around you. It’s no mistake that God put you where you are. Pay attention to who they are. What’s important to them. What they believe.
- Listen. While there are many good books and resources, you need to experience it. And that requires not just observing them like a scientific experiment. We need to be with them. Listen to them. Let them unload on us.
- Transparent. We need to be honest about our own failures and weaknesses. Pretending to have everything about our lives together is a lie. When God says, “For all have sinned,” that includes us.
- Accept. We must receive people right where they are. Who they are. How they speak. More than likely, their lives are going to be really messy. But if Jesus could be with tax collectors and prostitutes, so can we.
- Practice. If Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, then we need to grow through practice. Growth requires attempts. Change comes over time. When Paul tells Timothy to train yourself to be godly, we must practice.
- Failure. We are going to fail. Get used to it. After every interception, NFL quarterbacks go to the sideline and watch it. During the Monday game review, everyone watches the interception. Why? To learn. And so should we.
- Celebrate. Rejoice in the small victories. When someone asks a great question or comes to realize an important truth about God, you should just about become unglued with excitement and celebration.
When it comes to changing the people around us, we need to be Reasoning Dialogue kinds of people. It’s through ordinary people like you and me that God wants to use to change the world. Are you willing to leave the familiar and change to serve our Savior?
Written by Chet Gladkowski
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Christian Grandfather Magazine
Featured Image by StockSnap from Pixabay
Comments are closed.