In the last 30 days, I’ve cared for a sick little one and myself all but one week. I’ve made a minimum of 60+ meals (plus another 30 breakfasts for the dogs), moved two and a half bedrooms with the help of a 12 & 10-year-old, worked out of the home 20 of those days, been to track meets over an hour away, provided rides to friends houses, birthday parties, and made every school function and meeting. I’m changing puppy diapers before the big surgery in hopes of helping alleviate cancer risk this time, I’ve washed dishes and laundry daily (lost count there), and now I’m being a summer school teacher to help the kids stay afloat and prepared and doing that while I work alongside two kiddos full time. My mind goes and goes as I manage a life filled with more than my mind knows how to manage- or wants to work fast enough to figure out.
When I sit and do nothing, it’s more than likely necessary, not a luxury.
Even then, I usually lay down with a little human or a dog attached. If I’m in the shower, there’s either a knock on the door saying something that starts with “Nanny” or a dog staring at me.
For fun, I drove two excited kids to the pool to swim today. I caught my breath after a week in an asthma crisis, so we went! I couldn’t breathe so well in the pool (we were supposed to be outdoors, but rain..) and coughed up my right lung- but it was a fun end to this chaotic week. Oh, did I mention my emergency root canal and visit to urgent care this month- on which both days I returned to work?
I’m not looking for a shiny medal, award, or pat on the back- many moms are out there doing the same thing- a million things that go unnoticed, unappreciated, and unrealized. We don’t just wake up and dance to Manic Monday, play dress up, and apply makeup all day. We aren’t just out shopping for new shoes- (no, it’s food for the week for people and dogs, summer clothes for kids, workbooks, instrument returns, and that other stuff only moms know needs to be done)
We don’t sit at a desk all day doing nothing in cozy air-conditioned offices. Our minds are solving a thousand other issues, maintaining our careers, managing those offices by running around all day, and being mentally drained- on top of working the home all in the same day.
We haven’t even touched on the emotional parts that hit a mother’s heart regarding family crises, chaos, or confusion. We haven’t mentioned the mental breakdown we experience here and there, but no one knows because MOM HAS TO KEEP ON GOING. We won’t discuss the spiritual battle she wages against a world pushing and prodding her heart, mind, and spirit and the iron grip she must place around God’s neck to keep from falling apart. And he never complains or pushes her away- that’s my God!
So, please remember there is a woman out there like me. She’s wearing so many hats you can’t see her face anymore. She’s juggling so many balls she may never look away and see you. If she does, you won’t be able to handle the subsequent crash. Cut her slack, tell her she’s doing a good job, and help her occasionally. She will probably never tell you she needs it, but chances are she could use it. Put grace where your frustration lies, hold her, and don’t try to fix a thing. She knows exactly what she’s doing and where every piece of this puzzle belongs.
Don’t tell her she’s strong. She doesn’t want to hear it.
Don’t say, “I don’t know how you do it.” She will feel this need to explain, and she’s too tired.
Please don’t add more stress into the mix; she’ll always have enough.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Authentic Truths
Featured Image by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash
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