In the midst of our daily conversations, it’s startlingly easy to fall into the habit of expressing disdain rather than delight. This was glaringly apparent to me a few months ago when I found myself vehemently criticizing the “Twilight” series—an admittedly popular but controversial set of books—among my colleagues. Despite never having read a single page of the series, I was quick to echo the widespread criticism it received, emphasizing the poor writing and overzealous fanfare it attracted. My opinions were based solely on negative reviews rather than personal experience.
This pattern of focusing on the negative isn’t just limited to book critiques. It extends to various aspects of our daily lives—from politics and pop culture to personal lifestyle choices and beyond. We often find ourselves discussing what we dislike, perhaps more frequently than what we truly enjoy or support.
The Lure of Negativity
Why do we gravitate towards negativity? It might be that voicing disdain helps us feel more secure in our own identities. By denouncing what we perceive as inferior—whether it be a book, a parenting style, or even a type of car—we might believe we’re showcasing our superior taste and intellect.
However, this habit can create a barrier to deeper, more meaningful interactions. It’s easier to criticize than to express what truly moves us or what we’re passionate about. This is often out of fear—fear of being vulnerable or of our genuine interests being judged.
The Church’s Challenge
This issue extends into our spiritual lives and community practices as well. Too often, our churches are known more for what they stand against than for what they embrace. We frequently highlight sins and moral failings, focusing on what we believe society gets wrong without equally promoting the beauty, grace, and love that our faith embodies.
In the movie “Liberal Arts,” the protagonist is criticized by his younger girlfriend for his tendency to dismiss rather than appreciate. She challenges him by saying, “You think it’s cool to hate things. And it’s not. It’s boring. Talk about what you love, keep quiet about what you don’t.” This sentiment serves as a poignant reminder for both individuals and communities alike.
A Biblical Perspective
The Apostle Paul in Ephesians 4:29 advises, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” This scriptural wisdom encourages us to speak positively, to build rather than break down. It’s a call to shift our focus from critique to celebration, from what we reject to what we cherish.
Embracing the Positive
How, then, can we shift our focus? It begins with a conscious decision to engage with the world around us more positively. We must challenge ourselves to discuss things that fill us with joy, passion, and appreciation. Whether it’s a hobby, a book, a movie, or an aspect of our faith, speaking about our loves can enrich our interactions and help others see the beauty in our choices and beliefs.
Conclusion
Transforming our dialogue from negative to positive isn’t just about changing how we talk—it’s about changing how we think. By focusing on what we love, we open ourselves up to sharing our true selves with others. We allow our conversations to build bridges rather than walls. Let us as individuals and as a community learn to celebrate the good fervently, with the same energy with which we’ve critiqued the bad. In doing so, we not only reflect a more joyful spirit but also echo the grace and love at the heart of our Christian faith.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Faith Activist
Featured Image by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
