As a young adult, happiness often felt like the sole alternative to depression—it was either be happy or be miserable. Over time, this quest for happiness morphed into my true north, guiding me away from a life governed by pure logic to one driven by emotion. Unbeknownst to me, my life became centered around this singular pursuit, influencing every decision, both significant and minor.
In our society, happiness has ascended to the role of a modern deity. It’s the reason we marry under the banner of “happily ever after” and, paradoxically, why many marriages end as individuals seek their personal contentment. It drives people to abandon stable careers in pursuit of passions and traps others in relentless cycles of acquisition. From addictions that offer temporary solace to the idolization of celebrities who seem to embody our ideals of joy, the pursuit of happiness is omnipresent, a criterion for every choice we face, not between right and wrong, but between what brings the most happiness.
However, through hard-earned personal experiences and broader cultural observations, it’s become clear: happiness is a flawed compass.
The Pitfalls of Pursuing Happiness
1. Happiness as a Goal Can Lead to Unhappiness: Recent sociological studies have demonstrated the irony of making happiness a goal. In experiments where participants who highly valued happiness were subjected to stress, they reported significantly lower happiness and satisfaction, and higher depressive symptoms, compared to those who did not prioritize happiness as highly. This suggests that the more we chase happiness, the more elusive it becomes.
2. The Fleeting Nature of Happiness: The feelings we often associate with happiness—joy and elation—are primarily linked to the release of hormones like Dopamine and Oxytocin. These bursts of happiness are not only ephemeral but are subject to “Hedonic Adaptation,” meaning the things that thrill us today often become mundane tomorrow. Our bodies and minds are designed to adapt, making sustained happiness a biological impossibility.
3. Happiness Is a Byproduct, Not a Pursuit: Viktor Frankl, a contemporary of Freud and a Holocaust survivor, argued against the direct pursuit of happiness. He believed that happiness must ensue as a byproduct of meaningful activity rather than being an end in itself. His philosophy suggests that true joy arises naturally when we engage in activities that fulfill deeper spiritual, relational, or communal needs.
Choosing a More Worthy Guide
The quest for a guide is inherent in human nature. As children, we look up to parents or mentors; as adults, we might turn to leaders, societal norms, or various philosophies. The problem arises when we let something as unstable as emotion, or as external as societal approval, dictate our path.
Our true guide should be something—or someone—immutable, who was present before our journey began and will remain long after it concludes. For those of faith, this guide is God, whose eternal presence offers a steadfast direction that the fleeting nature of happiness never could.
This recognition invites us to redefine our life’s purpose: not to achieve transient emotional states, but to engage deeply with our faith, our loved ones, and our communities in ways that bring lasting fulfillment and genuine joy.
As we navigate the complexities of life, let us shift our focus from seeking happiness to living purposefully. In doing so, we may find that happiness is not the goal, but a delightful companion to a life well-lived.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Faith Activist
Featured Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
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