Learning the Hard Way

If you are in a messy marriage, you may feel like, “When are things going to get easier?”

Maybe you’ve gone to counseling, you’ve prayed and prayed for your marriage, you’ve worked on communicating better with your spouse, you’ve read marriage book after marriage book, and next to nothing ever happens or changes for the better.

If this is your situation, I would have to say there’s another reason your life and marriage may not be getting easier.

Allow me to refer to a rather timely example in the disciple, Peter, just before Jesus was arrested and crucified. Remember how days before Jesus’ arrest, Peter was professing his undying devotion to Christ, saying, “I will lay down my life for you.” John 13:37b (NIV)

Jesus told Peter, “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me …” (v.38) After Jesus’ arrest, his prediction came true in chapter 18 as Peter stood outside the courts where Jesus was being questioned. It was there that Peter denied his Lord three times.

I can’t begin to understand all the lessons Peter might’ve learned in that one hard lesson, but I do know that it was one in a series of hard lessons that radically changed him. After all, Peter became one of Jesus’ most devoted apostles, facing untold trials, persecutions, and finally dying a martyr’s death.  

Do you think he would’ve been so fully devoted, so sold out to Christ, had he not learned how to love Christ the hard way?

So when I look back on the many messy moments my husband and I have been through, I don’t think I would’ve learned nearly so much if the lessons weren’t learned the hard way either. I’ve not only learned to understand marriage and how to love my husband more but also how to hang tightly to my Savior with my whole heart.

I hope that you aren’t becoming discouraged by the hardness you are facing. I hope that you realize how God, the Great Redeemer, is tirelessly making those messes into lessons that will stay with you much longer than any elusive “ease” you may be chasing.

This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Worthy Bible Studies

Featured Image by Arun Clarke on Unsplash

About the Author

My husband, Gary and I have been married for 33 years and counting! We have three handsome sons, Jordan, Graham and Braden, as well as, our newest family member, Sarah, Jordan’s new wife and our “daughter-in-love!” I just love living this messy life with all of them and especially with the One who redeems all of our many messes—Christ!

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