Over the years of inner healing counseling and wading through my own pain, I’ve come to appreciate the jobs of “The Littles” inside who have been there to help me navigate life. Quite honestly, without their help, I would not have survived.
When you are an adult though, trying to adult, but still have broken little ones in pain… well, let’s just say it gets to be very counterproductive and difficult at times having hurt children inside. Sure, when they are healed and not carrying all the pain that they tend to have (because that’s usually part of their job – carrying pain that we couldn’t so that we would survive), it is a very different picture. For most people who have little versions of themselves inside, day-to-day living is distracted at best, extremely debilitating at worst.
I remember in the beginning of my healing journey, my prayer minister looking at me and telling me to carry a notepad with me at all times so that I could write down every time a “part” came up. He said to include their name (which is oftentimes different than the core person’s real name), their job (what function did they have in helping me), and their age (many times the age is based on the time the abuse occurred, but not always).
Now, I had never studied any of this. Never read a book, blog, or article on Dissociative Identity Disorder. Never ever watched movies that hinted of a disorder like this. Think “Sybil”. The image on the cover of that movie freaked me out!
So, here I am several months into my healing journey, with the lid off of my pain, and I’m trying to record all the “Littles” inside of my shattered heart. That alone almost drove me crazy. I felt like a complete train wreck. All I wanted was for all these crazy thoughts, extreme emotions, and childish impulses to stop. Yet, I couldn’t just will it to be so.
Once they realized I knew they were there, they were pushing to the front on a constant basis with a “Me. Here I am over here. Help me.” I didn’t on any level really grasp what I had been through as a child, much less even believe most of the flashbacks that surfaced. I just thought I must be losing my mind. And that’s what terrified me the most – losing my mind, losing control.
The question of the day is well how did that all stop? How did those parts get to healing?
I know there are many ways people seek help for DID, and again, I’m no therapist. I’m a survivor/ overcomer of SRA, who has and continues to walk out my own healing journey.
The way that my littles have found peace is really simple in saying, but very difficult in doing sometimes. They have been introduced to the real Jesus, the true one. He and He alone has taken their pain away, just like He took mine away. He has healed them, bringing them to a safe place inside to finally reintegrating with the core of me.
That may sound crazy to some, but it’s happened over and over and over again, not just for me, but for many others.
The result is peace inside. Rest.
For me, each level of abuse has held different levels of parts hidden in me in different places of pain. Each time, though the process of introducing them to the true Lord Jesus is the same. He brings them peace in the most creative ways, and they rest and play with Him as little children should until they are ready to become one with me again.
For many years this process was a bit more mechanical, step by step, depending on the ministry I was receiving help from, but now it’s extremely relational when I do still find a “little” inside. And I still do from time to time. My mental landscape is nothing like it was a few years back. Now, I have a normal life for the most part. My mind is at peace most of the time.
I do want to say that for those of us who have religion mixed in with abuse, like those abused in the church or by church leaders, asking Jesus to come help may be almost impossible.
I’ve had “false Jesus” come instead when calling out for the real one. You can refer to my book, “For the Silenced Ones” for that story. That’s why I usually address the Lord as “True Lord Jesus of Nazareth” or I may relate better to the Holy Spirit in that moment. Father God is usually really hard for people who have gone through severe abuse, though for me now, I love Papa. Some people refer to “the Man of Light” because Jesus is the Light of the World. Whichever way you can relate to the Lord is totally fine as long as it’s really Him.
For me, I’ve never had a part completely take over as an adult. I’ve just had thoughts, images, flashbacks, emotions, etc., that didn’t feel like adult me. As those things have come up, I take some time, asking myself some good questions that I’ve learned over time to ask.
I’ve also worked with others, some of whom have not suffered from SRA, but maybe were sexually abused repetitively for example. It’s the same process for them. It just should be much simpler dealing with fewer layers, though the pain can be as great.
I’m including an example of what it may look like to minister to someone with DID and get them to a healing place. This is not a textbook.
This also doesn’t touch on when demons are involved, which with anyone, that can be a possibility. Yet, if the true Lord Jesus is present, He carries all authority to cause any demon to pack their bags and leave. It just maybe be much easier having a believer present who knows their authority to walk alongside you.
Just remember you can’t counsel out a demon, and you can’t cast out a little. Sometimes you need discernment to know the difference. Generally speaking, I would just ask the Lord which is which and what needs to be done.
Again, I’m not a trained therapist. This is simply what’s worked for me and many others I know.
Premise: My friend feels trapped in elevators. (This is just an example by the way.)
Me: Would the part of you that feels like they are trapped be willing to talk to me?
Friend: Yes or no (either answer is good) If they get silence, most likely there is not a part, but maybe a body memory of a time they got trapped in a small place. (That can be healed by the Lord too.)
Me: Thank you so much for coming to talk to me. Where are you at inside my friend?
Friend: I’m trapped in a closet, and it’s really dark. I’m scared. (That’s a “little” talking now. Not the core person, though they probably are still really aware, and are hearing this voice in their head and relaying that to me.)
Me: Sweetheart, that must be so hard being in the dark like that. Would like some light? I know someone who can bring some light into that dark closet. In fact, He can get you out and take you to a safe place that you will love.
Friend: “Really?”
Me: Yes. His name is the true Lord Jesus. He can help you. Will you ask Him to come and bring you some light?
Friend: “Ok.”
Now, this example can be taken all over the place, but this is the simplest scenario. They see in their mind’s eye the real Jesus come bringing light into the closet. The Little takes His hand and the Lord leads them to a safe place, like a garden or field or beach or wherever these littles ones would feel safe. He then does whatever is needed to restore this little one to peace, to safety, to trust. Eventually, this would lead to that little one being fully restored back into my friend as a whole person. That doesn’t have to happen. Some people with DID choose to allow their healed child parts to be separate. The point is that every part of the person is healed and made whole.
Many who are looking from the outside might think, “This is all in your head. It’s just using your imagination.” On one level, I agree with you, in that it does involve your imagination screen, just like your memories do. You “see” with your mind’s eye. But broken pieces of the mind, dissociation is real. Many, many people deal with it. The more intentional the abuse was and the more the abuser knew what they were doing, the more damage to the person’s sense of self, to their mind was done.
Again, the purpose of the “Littles” is survival. They were created to protect, to hold pain that the person could not hold, and in certain cases, they were programmed to do things that no one should ever have to, like a child in the sex trafficking industry. Littles are a gift of God to help children survive.
They deserve to be at peace, to be made whole, to be loved just like all of us do. For the survivors with DID, this is so important for healing to fully happen and truly a part of loving yourself. So, I would encourage you – please let the real Jesus in. He loves you and only wants to heal your wounded heart. He came to “heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and the release of darkness for the prisoners.” Is. 61:1 NIV He can and will put the pieces back together again if we let Him.
Featured Image by Zdeněk Tobiáš from Pixabay
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