Can a Survivor Trust in a Good God?

I’ve asked God many times why did He not stop the abuse? It is an honest question, and He’s never gotten mad at me for asking it.

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He’s been under fire since the beginning.

He’s one of the most attacked, misunderstood, and judged beings of all time.

Who am I speaking of?

God.

What’s in question?

His goodness.

Without knowing God is good, we are a ship lost at sea on the verge of destruction – a house cracking apart with our foundation on shifting sand.

It began in the garden…

Now the serpent was more crafty (subtle, skilled in deceit) than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And the serpent (Satan) said to the woman, “Can it really be that God has said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees of the garden, except the fruit from the tree which is in the middle of the garden. God said, ‘You shall not eat from it nor touch it, otherwise you will die.’ ” But the serpent said to the woman, “You certainly will not die! For God knows that on the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened [that is, you will have greater awareness], and you will be like God, knowing [the difference between] good and evil.” Genesis 3:1-5

“Did God really say that?”

In other words, “Is God lying to you? He is withholding good things from you.”

The serpent succeeded in convincing Eve to question God’s intent, His goodness, His character, and His nature.  She agreed with the accusation that her loving creator withheld good from her, thereby attacking God’s nature.  In the process, she became her own god, submitting herself to the slave master of the knowledge of good and evil, which led to death.

Satan attacked Eve’s trust in a good, perfect, loving God. She chose to agree with the deceptive lies he wove, trading her trust in God’s goodness for lies.

The enemy of our soul has not stopped speaking that same lie, reframing it over and over, undermining our foundation ever since. Everyone, but Jesus, has fallen for them.

In Lisa Meister’s book, “You’ve Got the Wrong Guy”, she says on page 12, ”A big problem with these struggles is that when we begin to entertain these questions (meaning like the ones thrown at Eve), they will create bricks in our hearts. Bricks are those craftily worded nefarious questions that the enemy throws at us that confuse us and eventually will get cemented, making a wall between us and God.”

How can we overcome these lies?

Trust is the key!

Trust is the essential thing to build with anyone, but especially with God because it is the foundation of our relationship with Him. Yet, that is the one thing the enemy goes after hard and early in all of our lives, but especially in the lives of SRA survivors.

If Satan can get you to question who God is – His goodness, doubting that God loves you and is for you, then in effect, he keeps you from the only one who can truly set you free and who loves you completely, fully.

Trust is the foundation and framework of a house. If it is broken or damaged, the house will fall.  Yet, with a solid foundation of trust, your house will be strong, with a framework to build your relationships on, especially your relationship with God.

By faith [that is, with an inherent trust and enduring confidence in the power, wisdom and goodness of God] we understand that the worlds (universe, ages) were framed and created [formed, put in order, and equipped for their intended purpose] by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible. But without faith it is impossible to [walk with God and] please Him, for whoever comes [near] to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He rewards those who [earnestly and diligently] seek Him. Hebrews 11:3, 6 AMP

Hebrews 11 is what some people call “The Faith Hall of Fame”.

When you read through the list of heroes, all of them failed at different points in their lives, all of them lived through very difficult circumstances, persecution, etc…  They were broken humans in a broken, dark world.

Yet, they all had one thing in common – they had trust in the power, wisdom, and goodness of God.

They had unanswered questions, even delays of decades to promises fulfilled. Some never saw their promises fulled on this earth. Yet, they didn’t accuse God of not being good, not being true to His word.  They believed what God said based on what they knew of His character. They trusted His goodness towards them, His wisdom in how and when to accomplish what He said, and His power to perform it. They were able to walk with God and receive good things from Him because they had faith in Him. They trusted Him.

God is not angry for us asking Him questions, especially when the one asking is a survivor of abuse, one of the least of these. He knows what we’ve been through.  He doesn’t punish us for seeking to understand the whys.

I love good questions from my kids, even when questions are hard, honest questions.

What destroys our relationship with God is our accusations of Him, blaming Him, and judging God through our limited knowledge that He’s not who He says He is.  These mindsets destroy our faith and trust in Him, leaving us deceived and unable to receive anything good from Him.

Yet, if those who should have represented Him like our parents or others in authority over us abuse us, marring the trust we should have had, then it makes it very difficult to relate to God, to trust Him.  

Yet, it’s not impossible, even for the SRA survivor.  

God wants to build trust with you more than you want to with Him.  He loves you way before you ever would love Him back.  And He’s not afraid or offended at your questions.

So what about some hard questions…

How could a good God allow someone to go through Satanic ritual abuse, through rape, through incest, through the untimely death of a loved one?

How could a good God allow such evil in this world?

How could a good God allow your best friend to die?

How could a good loving God crucify His son?

I can only touch on these questions, but again Lisa Meister goes into these topics much more in her new book, “ You’ve Got the Wrong Guy”, available on Amazon.

God gave all men free will.  Sometimes, men use their free will to do good, but oftentimes men use free will to deeply hurt and destroy other people.  We live in a fallen world, and so many times these things also are passed down through generational trauma, spirits, and abuse.  It is not God’s will for us to live under this.

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for good, not evil, plans to prosper you, giving you a hope and a future. Jer. 29:11

This is God’s will for you, always! He’s not the bad guy!

If there are evil people in our lives, who do evil to us, it doesn’t change God’s love or plan for us.

Why did God put me in an abusive family?

Well, as I said, He didn’t want that for me, but He is such a wonderful God that He can take all my brokenness, pain, and suffering and turn even that around for good in my life if I allow Him.  This is what redeeming us and our story is all about.

I’ve asked God many times why did He not stop the abuse? It is an honest question, and He’s never gotten mad at me for asking it.

He actually has answered that question for me personally, though this is not a pat answer for everyone.  This was an answer directly to me, to my destiny of what He has called me to be.  But maybe it will help you with your questions.

He explained to me that He won’t force people to do something. He won’t violate free will, so though He was present, He did not directly intervene at the time.

He could’ve taken me on to heaven, and He once gave me the choice of that (I wrote about that in my book, “For the Silenced Ones”.), but then I would not have seen the redemption on the other side.

He could have taken my parents and other abusers out, but then that would have further damaged my view of Him, making Him like my abusers.

So, instead, He chose to hold me through it, gave me the ability to dissociate into fragments to handle and hide the trauma, and led me through an inner healing process where I’ve gotten to know who He really is and who He has created me to be, and surrounded me with family and friends who show me His love.  He was always present with me, even though at the time I didn’t understand that.  And now, He allows me to reach back and help others.  How redeeming!

In my book, “For the Silenced Ones”, I refer to my best friend who died.  It actually was my best friend and her 9-year-old son.

There are many things that happen in life that hurt deeply. This was one of those things that left my world in a painful, chaotic mess.

As I sought the Lord on the “why” one day, on my imagination screen, I saw a fence, and in the fence – a knothole.  Jesus asked me to come look through it.

Through the hole, I could see a very small part of a huge field.  I knew my view of it all was very limited.  Then He gently said that trying to understand eternity was like looking through that hole. There was simply way, way more that I would not be able to understand until I am on the other side of that fence.

That didn’t directly answer my why, but it gave me peace in knowing God is the God of eternity, and He sees the whole picture, so I can trust that He will work it all out for our good.

And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.  Romans 8:28 AMP

Finally, the last question.  How could a good God send His Son to the cross?

Well, for one, Jesus chose to go to the cross for us out of love for us, because it was the only way to save us.  The only way to free us from the enemy’s grip was to take our place.

His father didn’t force Him to do that.

Jesus said I lay down my life of my own free will.  John 10:17

Not even the devil forced Him into it.  It was the ultimate sacrifice of love for us, to save us because all along He wanted us to be a part of His family.

This is how I know it’s the real Jesus.

Recently, I wrote about who the real Jesus is.  It’s because of Jesus’s sacrifice for me that I can know His love for me.

One of my greatest fears has been what if I trust God only to find out He’s really the bad guy, that somewhere back there like with seemingly everyone else growing up, He’s really got a hidden dark side.

The only way I’ve been able to overcome this is by taking those little baby steps of trust, where I’ve seen Him rescue me time and time and time again.  I promise you, I’ve never experienced Him being anything less than loving, kind, and good.

He is just, and righteous, but in that, He is still good.  One day, He will hold all people accountable.  He does get angry at evil.  I’ve seen Him furious at people who hurt me, but even in that, He is good. He should be angry about a child being abused. So should we. That makes Him good. That is a part of love.

If you believe God is bad, or He’s out to get you, or He doesn’t care, then you won’t be able to receive the good the Lord has for you. This keeps you a captive.  It prevents you from getting to know the only one who can truly set you free, who unconditionally loves you completely.

The greatest thing any of us can do is to take that baby step of trust toward a good God. Get to know Him. Get to know who He created you to be.

To hear more about this subject, please check out “Can God be Good if SRA Exists?” (An interview with me and Lisa Meister on her podcast.)

 

 

Featured Image by Julia Filirovska from Pixabay

The views and opinions expressed by Kingdom Winds Collective Members, authors, and contributors are their own and do not represent the views of Kingdom Winds LLC.

About the Author

I am the author of For The Silenced Ones. I've been on my own healing journey from CPTSD for some years. Now I am sharing some of the things I've learned along the way to help other overcomers of abuse, and those who care for them. Let's shine the light in the darkness, so that these abuses will end.

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