Fellow Survivor, I see you.
I see that you were used for the benefit of others. I see that your strength is astounding. I see that it should have broken you. I see that you carry the scars, proof that you battled and survived. I see that you underestimate you, a warrior worthy of honor. I see the real you. The you that others miss. The you that survived the unthinkable. The you that is both beauty and strength. The you that I see inspires me.
God grieves with you. The righteous in God’s church grieve with you. They should have protected you; your story should have been different. I suspect in the aftermath. You lost many you loved and experienced further abuse and harm. Inconvenient truth is rarely received well. They should have wrapped their arms around you and carried the broken parts of you until you found the strength to carry them yourself. They should have protected you at your most vulnerable. They should have said, “I hear you; I believe you; you are not alone.” For all the should haves, I’m sorry.
This year has taught me so much through the pain and heartache of multiple abuse stories within the church. I’ve seen and experienced firsthand the destruction of lives when church leaders struggle to manage abuse within their walls. I still love the church and her people, but I’ve seen horrifically ugly parts that are not the real her. An evil that could not come out of a person that truly knows Christ. As a survivor myself, one that endured sexual and spiritual abuse within the walls of a church, I come to you as an equal. There are many forms of abuse encountered within church walls, and all of them leave lasting wounds and scars while tainting the name of God. Whatever your story, you are welcome here.
I’m sorry that you share stories like mine, and I know all too well the personal cost. I see you and understand your pain. Our stories include unthinkable realities and have required us to face hard things we shouldn’t have to. But in my heartache, God has met me in the most beautiful and tender ways. Abuse within the church has been described as “soul murder,” and there is sadly much truth to this description; but I know firsthand that God can redeem the most crushed of souls. You can and will find life on the other side, and there is much beauty to be gained in overcoming such adversity. Your strength and resolve to heal and find life again are to be celebrated. What was intended to break you can be used for good.
For now, this space will be ours, specially curated just for you. I’m working on special content for survivors, and because there is so much that I want to share with you, I will be posting a series over the next weeks of my thoughts, recommendations, and experiences in this matter. This year has unexpectedly brought numerous survivors into my orbit, and I’m a firm believer that God wants our life experiences to be used for His glory, so I’m vulnerably sharing my own hard-learned truths with you in this very public way. In no way do I claim to be an expert or professional, but sometimes life teaches us more than we want to know, and if my words can encourage or offer guidance as you navigate the messy and unthinkable, then I will happily share my non-expert thoughts with you.
My hope is this will be a haven of encouragement and support for you no matter where you are in your story. I want to fight for you, advocate for you, protect you, and journey the valley with you. I may not know you personally, but I’ve been bathing you in prayer. My heart can’t stop praying for the survivors I know, the survivors I will someday know, the survivors who may find this space, and the survivors I couldn’t protect. I pray that we find God in new and life-changing ways through this journey together. Life is not meant to be lived alone, and healing comes through community, so let’s link arms and forge ahead.
Today I tell you, “I hear you; I believe you; you are not alone.” I see the journey you have walked and are continuing to walk. I acknowledge how much you have overcome and applaud your strength. It may not feel like it today, but you are an overcomer, and the best is yet to come.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Rachel Rae Anderson
Featured Image by Elisabeth25 from Pixabay
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