Have you ever noticed we judge ourselves by our intentions and everyone else by their actions? We seem to give ourselves a huge break, but we hold the rest of the world to the letter of the law.
You might have seen our relational commitment in one of our worship services. This commitment was influenced by many different Scriptures– 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13; Philippians 2:3-5; Ephesians 4:29-31; and Acts 2:42-47 are just a few passages that helped shape what we say to one another every Sunday morning and live out in the week. Let’s take a closer look at what’s being said:
You will never suffer at my hands.
I will never say nor do anything knowingly to hurt you.
If you’re down and I can lift you up I’ll do that.
I will always, in every circumstance, seek to help and support you.
If you need something and I have it, I’ll give it to you.
No matter what I find out about you, no matter what happens in the future, either good or bad, my commitment to you will never change.
First, let’s discuss what this commitment is not. It’s not a gateway to ministry eutopia! Second, it doesn’t mean we’ll never have relational tension. Finally, it does not mean we always get it right relationally.
So, exactly what is it? These are relational expectations with our members. Perhaps most importantly, it’s what to do when you have tension with someone else.
Sadly, there is a trend among evangelicals to run or blow up relationships when things don’t go their way. There is a better way– God’s way. The following are a few suggestions to practice when you get hurt:
– Practice the 24-hour rule. Proverbs 15:28 reminds us that the heart of the righteous weighs its answer, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.
– Build into your expectations that people will let you down and you will let others down. Jesus is the one who will never let you down… read Hebrews 13:5,8 for proof!
– Refuse to gossip about another person or situation. Proverbs 26:20 says without wood a fire goes out; without gossip, a quarrel dies down.
– Leave room to disagree in a loving and respectful way.
How we handle the inevitable disappointments of life not only reveals how healthy we are, but it also determines if we’ll keep our influence for Christ! For instance, the manner in which you deal with marital conflict reveals to your kids if your faith really governs your relationship. When roadblocks appear at work, how you navigate them communicates to your co-workers if your faith influences your business decisions. How we traverse relational tension inside the church goes a long way when we seek to influence people outside the church with the gospel!
Again, our relational commitment is not church eutopia. It is, however, a biblical and healthy approach to navigate the inevitable relational tensions of life. Healthy culture is not the absence of difficulties but a commitment to maintain integrity as we face relational tension together! Perhaps it’s time to start judging others by the same measure we use for ourselves.
Remember, every action produces a reaction. Thank YOU for helping to create a healthy culture.
Written by Dr. Mark Byrd
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Christian Grandfather Magazine
Featured Image by Bob Dmyt from Pixabay
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