Window Effect

We are all like little houses with windows: some of us peer out, hoping to see others looking in, while others close the blinds, hiding from onlookers.

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“Dear Candidate, thank you for your time, but we have decided to offer the job to the other applicant. We had a hard time deciding between you and the other interviewee, and you were a very close second. We wish you the best in your future endeavors.”

If you haven’t received a letter like this before, then do a cartwheel because to be professionally rejected might be one of the worst feelings on the planet. I had lived glued to my email for weeks, waiting for the yes or no letter as the grueling process proceeded (four interviews in total). I had purchased several professional outfits, written multiple cover letters, candidly answered ambiguous questions, and jumped through scheduling hoops in order to make the meetings.

Yet all I received for my effort was a resounding NO. The thoughts flooded in, “You’re not good enough” or “You’re just second best,” and I could not stop them. It was as if I was walking through a fog, and try as I might, the thoughts kept hovering. I could not escape the gloom.

I realized that the balance of my personhood had been off-kilter. Instead of my well-being revolving around the fact that Jesus had a plan for my life, I had transitioned to letting a career be the center of my existence. I feared unemployment because that meant I didn’t have security or a purpose. I didn’t trust that the Father had His own plan for me, and I over-worked myself trying to find a place where I could fit.

I couldn’t help but keep thinking about what the other candidate had that I didn’t. The insecurities kept gnawing at me until I could not take it anymore. I had tried to prove my worth and etch out belonging where the Father didn’t want me to be. The applicant who did receive the job was meant to have it, and there wasn’t anything left for me to do but trust in God’s plan.

We are all like little houses with windows: some of us peer out, hoping to see others looking in, while others close the blinds, hiding from onlookers. After sharing details about myself to the interviewers in hopes they would see how valuable I could be to their company, I was eliminated from the running. This had caused me to bolt the doors and nail the windows shut. How could I go out and be transparent again after that?

That is when I felt like the Holy Spirit was asking me to shift my paradigm. Instead of striving to be picked by any and every job that was hiring, the Father would pick the right job for me at the right time.  With this simple change, my confidence came back tenfold. I unlocked the doors and opened the blinds knowing that He wasn’t going to let just anyone peer into my life.

Even though I knew the Father had the right career path for me, I still needed to pay my bills and join the workforce. A door opened and I became a hostess, this was a humbling step but I kept faith knowing that I was there for a reason. Within two weeks my two best friends joined me, and the atmosphere of the restaurant started to transform. Even though my stay was only temporary I had a purpose to spread His love to those around me.

Becoming aware of the fact that I am feeble without God has been enlightening. I don’t have to strive in my own strength to do all of this on my own. Life in all of its messy glory did not have to own me.

Less than a month after giving the job hunt over to God, I met with a company that not only checked all my boxes but far exceeded my dreams. After reading the offer letter, I danced around my house, thanking the Father for giving me this opportunity. I knew it didn’t have anything to do with what I did because I had taken myself out of the equation and God had honored my surrender. Even if the unforeseeable happens, I trust that the Father cares more about my well-being than I do.

 

Written by Gloria Biggers

 

 

 

Featured Image by Fabio C

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