What if God Was There the Whole Time?

He was!

Yes, we know that, but when we are hurting or are trying to move on from past rejections and past “abuse,” (no matter big or small, we may feel that we were all alone in that terrible time.

I was recently going through actually feeling the emotional hurt of some of those past things. They had stayed locked up inside because I learned to stuff emotions (especially what we term “negative emotions”) and stoically move on … oftentimes, thinking that was the spiritual thing to do.

Well, the flood gates began to open. I sensed that feeling the grief and hurt from stuffed incident after stuffed incident was part of God’s process for me to truly forgive (not just as a decision, but from the depths) and to truly move on.

As I cried, grieved, prayed, and journaled, the lightbulb went on! I realized that God had spoken into incident after incident. He had been intimately there with me, not just “there” because He is everywhere. No, He was tenderly, caring-ly there for me. And He had said specific words, words like,

• I’m a Father who takes care of His children.

• You’re the “Apple of MY Eye.”

• I’m your Source, not your husband, not your children, not your grandchildren, not your friends, not your church, not your job.

• You can fit anywhere because you don’t fit anywhere. I own you…no one else.

• I have your picture on MY mantle.

• Well done, my good and faithful servant. You did it for ME, not primarily for them.

And many other words to set my heart free … free to move on.

May the Lord use them in your own life to help you feel some of those past hurts in His Presence, listen for Him, and see where He was in it all the whole time. Listen for His Voice. So you, too can get free, forgive from the heart (not just the will), and move on:

I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
f I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
Psalm 139:7-12 NLT

This is an updated edition of a post originally published on A Branch in the Vine

Featured Image by Ralf Kunze from Pixabay

About the Author

Jan Loyd is a child of God, a disciple of Christ, a Jersey girl, a former nun, a teacher, and now a wife of 48 years, mother of two, grandmother of 5 boys and finally a baby girl...these are just some of the hats she wears or has worn. Her hat as teacher has seemed to be one she’s worn her entire adult life, ranging from teaching elementary school, homeschool, adult ESOL and GED language and writing. But along with all of these opportunities has been her favorite above all the rest: teaching women the Word of God in various ways, Precept Upon Precept and Bible Studies she’s developed by the grace and tutelage of God along the way. The heart of the message that she delights to share is that we are in union with the Living God through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. Currently you may find her on her devotional blog “A Branch in the Vine” where she shares several times a week and in her Bible Study/ devotional book The With-ness of our God: Relationship in Every Dimension.

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