We all know that life as a Christian isn’t meant to be lived alone. We see Jesus model that in the Bible as he does ministry with the disciples. We see him love friends like John the Baptist and Mary Magdalene and do ministry with many. But he also spent plenty of time alone. And I can only imagine that the level of leadership and his calling left him feeling isolated and alone at times, even when he was in large crowds. It was the work he was called to by God, a Holy and purposeful work, but surely it could also be draining. We see Jesus regularly sneak away to the quiet, intentionally pursuing time to pray to God.
Luke 22:41 He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed.
Matthew 14:23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.
I believe wholeheartedly that we are to pursue community and spiritual life with others. It’s a message we hear often, and something I am exceptionally passionate about. But what if we have pursued and still feel lonely and isolated? What if we can’t find those people that are pursuing back? The ones desiring to connect with you and me just as much as we desire to connect with them. Does this mean we are doing something wrong? Are we not “spiritual enough” or “good enough”? Why does it feel like we must be the only one in the church that is alone?
Let me start by saying…you aren’t the only one. It may seem that way, and it might feel that way, but there are plenty of women in the church longing for friendship and connection. There are women out there with a crew of amazing friends that carry them through life, but there are just as many women without. Please don’t buy into the lie that you are the only one and it must be something wrong with you. We are all flawed, so it’s possible that finding people offers unique challenges for you, but nothing is impossible. Or maybe, just maybe, God has called you to a season of reliance on him and not others.
I see the pain and hurt in your lonely eyes, I can see the longing for girls you can belong with; a safe space to be loved and accepted and cared for. If I can see and understand, then surely your heavenly Father does too. Pray for the longing, and pursue connection, but I encourage you to immediately lean into God and allow him to fill the void. I don’t know your story, and I don’t know where life has you right now, but I do know that He is enough. While this may seem easy to say, let me assure you, it is not. I have been in the lonely seasons more than I care to admit, and I have been in the less lonely seasons; but even in the less lonely, we can still feel the void of loneliness. Another human being cannot fill the lonely no matter how much we hope and think they can. They cannot listen away the pain, offer an easy solution to fix it, or somehow magically make things better. That lonely is a soul longing that only God can fill.
People in the journey are there to walk beside and carry the burdens, a gift to be treasured. Pray for and pursue connection and community, never stop intentionally pursuing people to walk with. But please hear me when I say, God knows your longing, he knows your need. He will carry you, he will journey with you, and he will meet your need. Lean into Him. When the lonely overwhelms, find quiet time with God. When it feels like you are invisible in this big world, take the pain to God. When it feels like the pain is too much, let God into the pain. Cry out. Pray without ceasing. It won’t magically cure the pain in the road you are on, but it will fill the void, and that is everything.
Philippians 4:6-7 But in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Rachel Rae Anderson
Featured Image by Pexels from Pixabay
