Before my wife and I married in 2007, one of the things we both felt was important in preparing for marriage was the priority of dad/daughter dates. Having been a single father for three years, I’d learned quite a lot about the importance of special time with each of my daughters — but it wasn’t until I was married again that the priority of one-on-one time emerged, because of their ages and stages.
As I think about the importance of family, I watch a video on Facebook of a friend’s family dynamic — 90 seconds that just brings a smile to my face — three almost-grown children and their parents just goofing off at home. This is what family’s about!
Some of the best times of my life have been those occasions where I had time with one of my three daughters, and I got to show my genuine interest and curiosity for their lives.
Our dates have usually revolved around getting something to eat at a café so we could spend time chatting for an hour, and often we’ve gone together to shop for something they’ve needed — which is really just an excuse to spend more time together and who support.
Whenever we’ve parted ways, I’ve made the most of a private tradition to lock the memory of our parting into my psyche, noting the preciousness of life. These are the vital moments in our lives.
Occasionally, I’ve said the wrong thing or responded in the wrong way, and that has always been the catalyst for a quick and earnest apology. My daughters have each been very gracious. They’ve always appreciated me apologizing for when I’ve got it wrong, for which I’m incredibly thankful.
Looking at my journal for 2011, I had 25 of these dates, and this was back when my daughters were ages 19, 16, and 13. At that time in their lives, it was really imperative to sow into their lives and our relationship as a daughter with her dad.
Occasionally, even though we’ve never acted like we were anything other than a dad with a daughter, we would get looks from wait staff like, “He’s way too old for her.”We would often laugh. Though I’ve often been mistaken for looking younger than I am, what does it say about our society that judges a dad-daughter date like that? Anyway, we never made much of it.
The past few years, as all our lives have gotten busier, the dynamics and frequency of our dates have changed, and we’re more likely to go out as a smaller group. But all those dozens of dates, and probably well over 50 dates with each daughter by now, have been such a handsome investment in our relationships.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Tribework
Featured Image by Terri Sharp from Pixabay
