Remember Our First Love

Have our hearts grown so full of the things we have to do that we don’t even have space left for our other half?

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​​​​Have you abandoned the love you had at first? This will be a serious comment from the Son of God to His church – His bride (Revelation 2:4). This is also a question for those of us who are husband and wife.

Oh, how my heart is getting heavy while I think about this question. I am reviewing my heart asking myself, “Have I also abandoned the love I had for my husband at first?” From the time God showed me that He had a man for me to be my husband, I began praying for him and I prayed for over six years. I prayed for him until the day he appeared in my life, and I fell in love with him over one night (When this happened, he was in the United States and I was living in Hong Kong, which has a twelve-hour time difference). I knew he was the husband God had for me, and I promised God that I would love him just as I love Jesus. I promised that I would honor him and stand beside him, wherever he went I would go. I promised that I would never bring harm or hurt to him. We have now been married for six years, but do I still want to hear his whisper in my ear? Do I still want him to hold me at night? Do I still want to do anything to see him smile and laugh with a joyful sound? Do I miss him even when he is away from me for just a few minutes? Do I want to hear about his day and his night and what he is struggling with and how he feels…. Or, do I just want him to hear me out? Has my passion for him reduced or even disappeared?

A marriage builds a family, and a family comes with tons of responsibility and duties daily. The alarm rings even before there is sunlight, and a new “Day” begins. A list of tasks need to be done, for the family and also for work, and they must all be done right and done well. There may be times when we are required to walk down the muddy road, climb up the cliff, swim to the other shore, and cross over the burning coals. The soul is challenged, the body fails or feels like it is failing… and you find that you do not even have a moment when you can enjoy a kiss together.

I know your deeds, your hard work, and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.” (Revelation 2:2-3, NIV)

As husband and wife, we are faithful in our duties and responsibilities. We are being good parents and teaching our children right and wrong, and we are working to live according to it. We live to honor and stand by the side of our spouse, and never back off no matter how hard the situation may be. We may say something like, “It is just a different way of showing love after being married over the years.” But still, do we forgot the first love, the passion we had for each other? Have we become so tired that it is even too hard to give a goodnight kiss? Have we allowed our work and our duties to take control of our minds? Have our hearts grown so full of the things we have to do that we don’t even have space left for our other half? When two become one, a husband and a wife, no one can separate them because it is God that has put them together. That goes for us and our hearts towards each other as well.

Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen!” (Revelation 2:4-5, NIV)

God is love, and whoever lives in love lives in Him, and God is in them (1 John 4:16). Read through 1 Corinthians 13, we learn that even if we did all things, if we did not have love, then it means nothing. But even worse is that, without love, we cannot endure the storms which may come. Revelation 2:4-5 gives us an insight that if we forsake the love we had at first, we have failed and fallen already. When we walk farther and farther from the first love, it’s become harder and harder to return…the numbness gets deeper and tighter, just like a vine as it grows around a statue. Husbands, do you love your wife just as Christ loves His church? Wives, do you love your husband just as the church is to love Christ?

I reviewed myself and I remembered many times I rejected an enjoyable kiss from my husband because of my tiredness after a long day. I remember how many times I have rejected to cuddle with him in the morning because I had to get up for the children to go to school and then begin work on my daily tasks. I remember how many times I have failed to simply enjoy and rejoice in his silliness.

Concerning the Lord, I am not trying to say that being a responsible mother, a hardworking housekeeper, and a good servant for the work of God is wrong because our deeds, our hard work, and our perseverance for Him as our husband/wife and for our children is wonderful. But yet, Jesus does not want us to become burnt out and have no time to sit beside Him, hearing His whisper, and enjoying in His word… and especially, desiring to know His heart.

Have a kiss, take time, and enjoy! ​


Written by Coria Brock


This is an updated edition of a post originally published on 321 Ministries 

Featured Image by Andy Fitzsimon on Unsplash

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