Description
Just a few weeks before a pandemic locked down the entire country, I was blackmailed by a prostitute that I had visited in Chicago on a business trip. By the time I left her hotel room, this woman and her partner had already found my wife’s contact info. Several hundred dollars later, I made it out of that room and was able to carry on with my day. But once the money dried up, this couple had no use for me and hit the nuclear button, calling Amy and telling her about my visit, sharing incriminating pictures. This set off a wild chain of events in the weeks ahead that ultimately led me to confess all of my sexual sins to God and to Amy. The good news in all of this, as big of a sinner that I was, God was still waiting for me with open arms.
Nobody ever signs up to tell a story like this. Quite the opposite actually. A lot of people addicted to porn, sex, drugs and alcohol do what I did: spend years and years of energy trying to stuff my sins deep inside me so they would never get out. My mask was on so tight that I didn’t take it off for anyone. I was first exposed to porn at the age of 9. From that moment, it grabbed hold of my life and didn’t let go. It ruined one marriage and very nearly ruined my marriage with Amy. It impacted relationships, friendships and my finances.
One year after I took off my mask, my old life is gone. There’s only one way to describe what happened to me. It was a miracle. I have no other answers. God helped me cancel my own sinful culture and replaced it with one that is full of the Holy Spirit. There’s no explanation for how a middle-aged Jewish man by birth, atheist by faith, spiritually blind and trapped in the darkness of his own sin now believes Jesus is the messiah. There is no way to explain the transformation that took place in my life and my marriage, right? There actually is a way to conquer your sexual sins and walk in victory. It starts with God.
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