Have you ever met someone and just instantly knew that you needed to know them? Like, really know them? Like you wanted to dig in and know every single thing about their story?
Terre is that person for me.
And when I heard just a fraction of her beautiful testimony at church one morning, I knew I needed to hear more. So, when Holy Spirit put this series on my heart, hers was the first face I saw after I asked Him who I should interview. It was so obvious, so clear. I just had to know more.
Friends, I know this post is long. I know it might take you a few sessions of reading a few minutes at a time to get through it, but I promise you…it will be WORTH IT! Terre has one of the most beautiful testimonies I’ve ever heard of how our Father reclaims every part of our lives when we surrender to Him. How He completely covers our past, forgives and forgets our sin, walks with us in our present, and anoints every step of our future.
Terre, my friend, thank you. Every part of your story spoke to my heart and gave me so much faith and hope to hold on to. Our Father is doing some incredible things through you as you live your life surrendered and open-handed, ready and willing to trust Him.
Love you, sweet friend.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE BEFORE JESUS?
I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was 12 so my life before Jesus was confusing and difficult.
When I was six years old, my grandmother (my mother’s mother) passed away suddenly. My mother was an only child and she was very close to her mother so, therefore, she really took the death of her mother hard. She turned to prescription drugs and alcohol to try to numb her pain. She withdrew from my dad, my three other siblings, and me.
I began being sexually molested when I was eight years old from someone close to our family and when I was 11 by my soccer coach. Being extremely confused and scared, I thought I somehow caused this to happen and I believed that no one would help me and would actually be mad at me because it was my fault. I started wearing a coat of shame and guilt. My deep desire to be loved and accepted by others took a stronghold on me and I would do anything to please others no matter what it cost me. I was learning this survival trait at a very early age.
I remember my parents fighting a lot and my mother stayed in bed and would lock herself in her bathroom. Because of my deep dark secret of being molested and my home life, I began creating my own fantasy world where I was loved and cherished by everyone. It was a place I was safe and felt normal. It became my alternate reality so I could be numb to my true present reality. But the truth is that when I would look in the mirror, or thought about myself, or compared myself to everyone and anyone else, surely that weren’t as messed up as me. My true thoughts and perception of myself were…unworthiness, guilt, shame, self-loathing, disgust, and hatred. These were the words that began to define who “Terre” was.
To give GOD Praise: After 15+ years of drinking and abusing prescription drugs, my mother almost died and her liver was starting to fail when God took a hold of her in the Emergency Room back in the early 1980s. At that time, mama and daddy agreed for mama to be admitted to a rehabilitation facility to get help for these addictions. Mother was admitted and came out six weeks later a FREE and HEALED woman. Every day that followed she gave her life to God. God restored her marriage to my dad and brought restoration to our whole family. He used her in powerful ways to show His Love and His Healing Power. She was such a pillar of strength and encouraged countless others, especially our family, to BELIEVE that GOD is MIGHTY and that there is nothing that He cannot do!!
HOW DID YOU MEET JESUS? THE HOLY SPIRIT? GOD AS FATHER?
I met Jesus at a church revival when I was 12 years old, but I didn’t know I could have a personal relationship with Him and I was afraid of God. For the next 20 years I lived my own way doing whatever pleased me and what I thought “made me happy.” And then I had a REAL encounter with Jesus in the Summer of 1995 in Duck Key, Florida.
I was 32 years old and had been married and divorced twice and was living with a man in Nacogdoches, Texas. This man was very controlling and verbally abusive. I was fearful that the day was coming when he would start hitting me. My self-esteem was below nothing and my worthiness was nonexistent. I was convinced that I was not worth loving and I couldn’t get another man to love me or even put up with me. I hated sex because it made me feel dirty and ashamed because of being molested as a child, but on the other hand, I’d convinced myself that if I didn’t do it, I would not be loved. This was a constant battle that raged inside of me.
I was raised not to live with a man out of wedlock and my dad told me that he would not come to visit me as long as I was living with this man. But, he would call me almost daily to encourage and pray for me; he loved me so much and it hurt him to see how much I was hurting and conflicted.
It’s so strange to me that throughout all the years of my wandering around, making bad choices because of how I saw and felt about myself, I felt a Presence around me, wooing me towards it. Many times it protected me from the bad people and rough places that I put myself in. I was constantly searching for a man to make me feel good about myself…to help me love myself. I had a deep desire to belong, so I went from relationship to relationship and even marriage to marriage, trying to find what was missing in me, but sadly I always ended up lonelier and more disgusted with myself. I was in a dark place that seemed to have no glimpse of light and I couldn’t find my way out of it. I was beyond miserable, I was desperate to feel alive, and I felt like everyday a part of me was dying.
In the Summer of 1995, I attended a Pacemaker Seminar in Duck Key, Florida with the Cardiologist I worked for. The night I got there, I had yet another fight with my live-in boyfriend over the phone. After hanging up with him, I went out on the balcony of my hotel room. I was completely exhausted from this relationship and started crying – harder and harder until finally, I fell on my knees and cried out, “Lord, I’m so sorry for this mess I have gotten myself into. I’m sorry for hurting You and running away from You. Please forgive me. I will give my life to You, I will go where ever You tell me to go and I will do whatever You tell me to do. I will serve You with everything I am if You will get me out of this mess I have gotten myself into.” Suddenly, I felt Peace wash over me like a warm blanket and somehow I knew everything was going to be okay.
Three days after I got home from the Seminar, I was at work and the Cardiologist called us all into an emergency staff meeting. He told us that he was filing for bankruptcy and at noon that day the bank would own everything and that no one would continue to have a job there. While my co-workers were all freaking out, there was that Peace again that washed over me and I heard the word, “Tyler” whispered in my ear.
As soon as the meeting was over, I grabbed my things and left. I immediately called the Pacemaker Rep that lived in Tyler to tell him what happened and that he needed to get here quickly to get his inventory that was in the office, which was in Nacogdoches (1 and 1/2 hours away). When he got there, he took me to lunch and said that he knew the managers in the Cath Labs at Mother Francis Hospital and ETMC and they were both hiring.
To make a long story short, I drove to Tyler, Texas and interviewed at both hospitals. I was offered a job at both Cath Labs. The Lord led me to ETMC. So, I moved to Tyler alone; without my abusive boyfriend. The Lord gave me a new strength to walk away from him and He provided me with a salary enough that I could support myself and a cute little house down the road from the hospital. I lived in Tyler for five years until the Lord moved me to Plano, Texas, where I currently reside.
Tyler was the place where I was faced with the reality of having ovarian cancer and had a total hysterectomy, my ninth female surgery. It was the place where I met Jesus face to face with some of my most devastating losses, disappointments, and emotional pain. But, it was also the place where I truly began to heal and KNOW JESUS for the first time and it was the beginning of our personal and intimate relationship.
Tyler was the place where I became a part of my first church home at Crossroads Church. Tyler is where I began journaling and writing Poetry. I learned to read my Bible, I mean truly read God’s Word, for the first time and learned how to pray. God moving me to Tyler changed and saved my life. To this day (24 years later) I still am involved with and do ministry with ladies whom I met at my first church home who have become some of my dearest and closest friends…Jenny, Susie, Lisa…I love you to the moon and back.
It was on a Wednesday morning in 2009, several days after our last meeting for the Bible study, “Breaking Free” by Beth Moore, which I had facilitated. It was around 5:00 am and I awoke to the sound of my husband taking a shower. I was exhausted, so I quickly dozed back off and almost immediately, I felt the most intense and powerful wind blow over me while I was lying on my back in my bed. It started at my feet and came up over my body all the way to the top of my head. The wind was so forceful that I felt my body being pushed deep into the mattress. I struggled to break free from its grasp but I could not move against it. It was so powerful that I could feel the skin on my face moving in all different directions like it was distorted. It seemed like it went on for hours, but in reality, it was probably about 20 seconds. It finally lifted off of me and I jumped straight out of bed, scared and rebuking the devil! It bothered me for the rest of the week and I was praying about it and for God to tell me what that was. He revealed the answer to me through the Pastor at church on that following Sunday. When the pastor said, “and the Wind is the Holy Spirit,” my spirit jumped and I gasped because I knew that God had answered my prayer. Ever since then, I have been extremely sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s touch and leading.
“MOTHER OF MANY”
To catch you up to speed before you read the answer to this question, I’m 46 years old at this point and have had nine surgeries for debilitating female problems since the age of 15. The last surgery, which was a total hysterectomy in 1995 (at 32 yrs old) was due to early detection of ovarian cancer. And I have never been able to conceive a child.
I was in Hunt, Texas in 2009. It was mid-afternoon and I opened the front door and was immediately hit in the face with a warm blast of hot air. The ranch was a beautiful place, but it sure was hot and dry in July. There was a canopy of trees in the front yard that caught my attention and looked so inviting, so I headed that direction.
The anger and hurt started to boil up inside me and with every step I took, I thought I was going to burst. I was mad at God! After all these years, I finally admitted it: I was mad at God!
Waves of guilt started washing over me that I had no right to be angry at God. I struggled with being honest with myself and with Him and then I heard a gentle voice speak to my heart, “It’s okay, Terre, I can handle your anger. Let’s get this out so I can heal you.”
Okay, then let’s go. So all my pent-up frustrations and hurts came blurting out and I began yelling, “God, why, WHY could I not have babies? Are You saying that I wouldn’t be a good mother, do I not deserve it, are You punishing me for my sins, are You mad at me, have I disappointed You, do I not measure up to Your standards? Why could I not feel what other women feel….a baby growing inside her belly, the kicking of tiny feet against the walls of my uterus? The birth of and the first moment I saw this tiny creation that You created inside me. To hear my house echo with the sweet sounds of a baby’s giggles. Hearing for the first time, ‘Mama’ from the sweetest voice that would ever be etched in my heart. To hold my child and comfort them when they are scared or hurting. To plan my daughter’s wedding and spoil my grandchildren???”
By this time I was exhausted from the pacing back and forth and yelling and sobbing, so I just collapsed on the big boulder that sat in the middle, underneath the canopy of trees. And in a small voice, barely a whisper, I said, “God, do You not love me?”
I waited quietly for an answer and I thought I heard the word “broken,” but I wasn’t sure, so I tried to listen even more intently. But there was a locust in the tree above me that was making that noise….you know, that loud noise they make. It hadn’t stopped from the moment I stepped underneath the canopy of trees. Now that I was quiet, I could really hear just how loud and annoying this locust was. Then I blurted out, “God, I can’t hear You and if You want me to hear You, then You are going to have to shut this locust up!” Immediately, the locust went silent and never made another peep the rest of the time I was there. I must say God had my full attention.
Then, just like a daddy talking tenderly to his daughter who is sobbing and devastated, God began talking to my heart. His words were soothing like medicine being applied to a wound. His tone was tender and gentle, not harsh or demeaning. For the first time in my life, I was experiencing this almighty, powerful, untouchable God, as a Daddy…..as my Abba, Daddy!
He spoke tenderly to my heart like the words that are spoken in Hosea 2:14 (NIV), “Therefore, I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and I will speak tenderly to her.”
“Broken…I need you broken. We all sacrifice something. I sacrificed my One & Only Son so that My creation and I could live eternally together. My Son sacrificed His life to redeem the sins of the world. Your sacrifice will become a way for you to know Me in ways that you could never know Me without it. You will experience My healing touch and the depth of My love for you in the most powerful ways, just as My Son did. Even He agonized in the Garden of Gethsemane over the sacrifice He was to make on the Cross of Calvary. And just like I was there, comforting and encouraging Him, I am here doing the same for you. Your sacrifice will become an important part of your story and your testimony of My love for you and the Power of My restoration to you will bring encouragement and restoration to many others. And just like I promised Abraham that he would be the Father of many Nations when he and his wife Sarah were beyond the age of childbearing years (Genesis 17:1-6; 18:10-14), I promise that you will be the mother of many. Daughter, you do not have to birth a child to be a mother to them.”
Then the Holy Spirit brought to my mind this Scripture, Isaiah 54:1 (MSG):
“Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby.
Fill the air with song, you who’ve never experienced childbirth!
You’re ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women.”
God says so!
Then I heard what sounded like large drops of water hitting the boulder I was sitting on… I looked and saw drops of water all over the rock. So, in my disbelief, I stood up and started walking around under the canopy of trees, looking up to see if it had started to rain and if the raindrops were coming through the tree branches. Nope…blue skies and not a rain cloud in sight. As I was walking around, the raindrops started to fall on me; wherever I went, the drops followed me.
What the heck was going on….as I am standing there with my mouth gaping open and speechless, God spoke gently to my heart the words from Ezekiel 36:25-27:
“I will sprinkle clean water on you and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.”
I was so undone and fell on the boulder, sobbing tears of joy. A free woman who had been touched by her Creator, who had been wooed by the Lover of her soul, who had felt the Love of her Daddy. I will be forever changed and will never be the same!!
On October 7, 2012 during church service, Wendy, a precious “daughter” of mine, presented me with a painting that was painted by a friend of hers. It was an image of me that the Lord put in the minds of Wendy and the painter. I was looking down over many children and in the top left-hand corner of the canvas was the Tree of Life pouring out onto my head and raining down onto the children below. The painting was called: “Mother of Many.”
HOW DO YOU JOURNAL OR TRACK WHAT THE HOLY SPIRIT IS TEACHING YOU? WHAT DOES YOUR QUIET TIME TYPICALLY LOOK LIKE?
I write down my experiences and His Words to me in notebooks and in my Bible.
IN THE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING
It starts early in the morning around 3:30-4:00ish. This is the best time of day. Everyone in the house is still sleeping and there is a quietness that isn’t there at any other time. My mind is fresh from the distractions of the events from the day and my body is rested. I learned this from my daddy. He was a teacher of God’s Word for 40 years in the Methodist Church and I watched him do this as I was growing up.
My mental attitude is definitely different (on the negative side) when I don’t take the time to go to “My Secret Place with Abba.” If I neglect this crucial part of my relationship with God, it leaves me vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy and to my flesh. Spending time with My Father helps me get dressed for the day by putting on my Armor.
WHAT SCRIPTURE(S) DO YOU GO BACK TO WHEN YOU’RE STRUGGLING WITH FEELINGS OF ANXIETY, FEAR, WORRY, ETC.? WHAT DO YOU DO TO BUILD YOUR FAITH?
BE STRONG & COURAGEOUS
1 Chronicles 28:20 (NLT) – “Then David continued, ‘Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the Lord is finished correctly’.”
King David was trying to encourage his son, Solomon, with regards to building The Temple of God. Wow, can you imagine having that responsibility? Talk about being worried and afraid of messing that up.
Well, just like God called Solomon to build His Temple, He also calls us to do things for His Kingdom work. My calling alone scares me to death and I ran from it for years. But God has been wooing me and encouraging me to trust Him, rely on Him and lean on Him. So now, this is what I aim to do daily and I do my best to get my flesh out of the way and allow Him to use and flow through me for His Glory and His will.
One of the ways I do this is I dive deep into His Word, especially when He gives a specific Word to me and then I speak those words over myself. Here’s an example of the Scripture I provided above:
1 Chronicles 28:20 – “Be (remain) strong (firm, steadfast, determined, uncompromising), and courageous (brave, fearless, bold), and do the work. Don’t be afraid (intimated, frighten, worried) or discouraged (dishearten, lack of confidence), for the Lord God, my God is with you. He will not fail (disappoint) you or forsake (abandon) you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the Lord is finished correctly.”
Now I make it personal and I speak it over myself….it sounds like this:
“I will remain firm, steadfast, determined, and uncompromising. I am brave, fearless and bold and I will do the work God has called me to do. I will not be intimidated, frightened, or worried. I will not be disheartened or lose my confidence, for the Lord God, my God, is with me. He will not disappoint me, nor will He abandon me until all the work of the Lord that He has called me to do is finished.”
God has anointed me to be a pastor who walks in the 5-fold Ministry: Teacher; Prophecy; Exhortation; Healing; and Evangelist. Wow…is that a mouth full. It has taken me many years to accept this calling, to believe that God could and would use someone like me, but He does, every day, even when I mess up. What an AWESOME GOD we serve!!!
THE DIME & PENNY
It was early Friday morning March 29, 2013 and I set out to break in my new bike I got for my birthday. There is a wonderful creek close to our neighborhood where my husband and I love to take walks and ride our bikes. I chose to go the opposite direction than we normally take and it stormed pretty hard the night before.
I was riding on the trail where it dips down under one of the main streets and noticed a pile of mud that was washed up on part of the trail. In the middle of this pile of mud, there was a dime and a penny close together. For some reason, I thought that was odd, but not thinking too much about it, I blew it off and went on with my ride.
I drove to Lake Whitney the next morning to spent the weekend at my sister’s house to visit my mom who was living with her and to see my dad at the nursing home.
I had a good visit with dad, although it was so hard to leave him. He had only been there since January and it was proving to be a hard and emotional transition for our whole family. Daddy had been battling with dementia and he was at the end stages of it. I don’t know which is worse…..seeing a loved one battle dementia or cancer for 10+ years. They both are horrible and devastating diseases.
I woke up Sunday morning, March 31, 2013, feeling sad about the decline of both of my parents’ health, so I went for a walk. My sister lived in Morgan, Texas, a small town outside of Lake Whitney. A place I knew well, I grew up spending a lot of time there in the summers. I use to love to run in my younger years, when I had better knees and back. Running was my place I would go to for solitude or to sort things out when I was going through something difficult. Well, I didn’t run that particular morning, but a walk sure was what the doctor ordered. My heart was breaking for my parents.
Anyway, it had been a long time since I had gone for a walk in this little lake town and the area was over grown but still was out in the country. As I was walking and talking to the Lord, I asked Him to lead me where He wanted me to go. I must admit I was a bit nervous, not knowing if a snake or wild dog or other animal was going to jump out of the tall, overgrown weeds that lined the rocky, dusty road I was on, that had a lot of twists and turns to it. As I was walking, I heard a voice in my heart tell me to “look down.” So, I did and much to my surprise, there was a “dime and a penny” lying next to each other on this rocky road. At this point in the road, there were no houses around, just overgrown land with trees. I gasped and bent down to pick them up. I held them in my hand in disbelief and wonderment. They were rough around the edges with cuts engraved in the center. They looked like they had been there for a long time.
“Ok, LORD, You obviously want to get my attention with this dime & penny. It was less than 72 hours earlier that You first led me to the dime & penny when I was riding my bike on the cement trail by the creek back home. What are You trying to tell me?” I hear a voice in my spirit ask me, “What does 11 mean in the Bible?”. I immediately thought about Hebrews 11 where it talks about faith:
Hebrews 11:1 (NIV) “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
So, within a week after my new discovery of the dime & penny, I was at work and I was walking outside next to a field back behind Medical City Plano Hospital taking my break. I heard a voice in my head tell me to “look down,” so I did and it was a dime & penny. Again, I gasped and reached down to pick up the two coins and put them in my pocket. This went on for weeks, months, and years….on the pavement next to my car while I’m filling it up with gas. In the parking lot as I’m going into the grocery store. Coming out of restaurants, running into convenient stores to buy a lottery ticket, or Braum’s to buy milk, leaving Massage Envy just before getting into my car, in the parking garage at work. Since that Sunday morning, in April 2013, in the little town of Morgan, Texas where I picked up my first dime & penny, the LORD has been leading me to them ever since then. Needless to say….I’m always on the lookout for my dime & penny.
Throughout, these past years, the LORD has been teaching me about faith. He has been using a dime & penny as His gentle reminder to me to encourage me to trust Him or prepare me for what is to come, that He is always with me and He will never leave me nor forsake me. That He always has my best interest at heart and He knows the plans for me.
All of this began several weeks before my mother had a massive stroke that led to a cascade of medical events that caused her to go into respiratory and heart failure, she became septic and then slipped into a coma. Within nine days, her organs began shutting down and the doctor was suggesting we call in hospice because he felt that she would not last past the weekend.
Our family declined his advice and wanted a miracle from God instead. So, my sister and I started earnestly praying for one right there in the ICU waiting room….loudly and proudly!!! I called my church elders to come to the hospital the next morning and pray over my mother.
That Saturday, April 27, 2013 at 10:00am, seven of us gathered around her bed and prayed over her. The room was so electrifying with the Presence of the Holy Spirit!! The prior Tuesday at prayer night, Jay, one of the elders of the church came up to me and prayed over me and said that the LORD has anointed me and said that God wants to heal my mother through me. After the elders prayed, Jay walked over to me and asked if I had touched my mother yet. I said no because I was afraid that He wouldn’t show up and what if it didn’t work. I was scared and doubtful. Jay said that the LORD was already there in the room with us, waiting for me to come forth and touch my mother and pray over her.
So I walked over towards her and cupped my mother’s face in my hands and they were on fire with the Holy Spirit and through the Holy Spirit I commanded my mother to wake up and live and she immediately opened her eyes and tried to break loose from the restraints that were on her. She left the hospital two weeks later. She had recovered well until one year later, she had another massive stroke, but this time, she had bleeding in the brain. Again, the doctor’s didn’t give her a good prognosis of survival, but she did. She did, however, pass away on Valentine’s Day of this year, 2-14-19, six years after her brush with death.
I believe that God was leading me to a dime & penny weeks before my mother had her stroke and brush with death because He knew that I truly needed to hold onto my faith in Him. And with all the events that have followed this episode, I have been learning how to exercise and grow in my faith. This has become one of my favorite God stories that I love to tell others about! They always tell me they are going to start looking for their dime & penny. Praise God!
IF YOU’RE WILLING TO SHARE, WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR MOST MEMORABLE PROPHETIC WORDS SOMEONE HAS GIVEN YOU? HOW ARE YOU STEWARDING THAT PROPHECY?
HANDS OF HEALING
God’s anointing fell upon me when a prophetess held my hands and she said that through God’s anointing I would heal the sick and wounded by touch. My hands immediately began to burn with intense heat. (December 2012). April 2013 (Tuesday Night), an elder at my church prophesied that God was going to use me to heal my mother. That following Saturday, April 27, 2013 this prophecy came true.
THE SECRET PLACE
I have found my “secret place” that I go away to and commune with my God. A place where I feel safe to be vulnerable with my Abba, Daddy and open up my heart to Him and allow Him into the deepest and hurting parts. To allow Him to heal me and teach me about Him. A place where I am my sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading and allowing Him to flow through me and being obedient to what He asks me to do and recognizing the divine appointments He orchestrates.
JUST A FEW MORE QUESTIONS THAT I’M CURIOUS ABOUT! WHAT SONG DO YOU HAVE ON REPEAT THESE DAYS? WHAT ARE YOU READING THAT IS CHANGING YOU?
The song, Spirit Lead Me, by Influence Music and Michael Ketterer has put into words what my heart desires to do every day.
And the book, The Armor of God, by Priscilla Shirer.
My name is Terre Workman. I was born in Dallas and raised in Mesquite, Texas. I’m the youngest of four – 2 brothers and 1 sister. I was raised in the Methodist church.
I have been a women’s pastor for the past 18 years and an ordained minister for the past 4 years. My passion is teaching God’s Word and mentoring women, young and old. I enjoy helping and teaching them how to have a personal and intimate relationship with their Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. I love to encourage them to live the life of freedom Christ died to give them and see themselves through the eyes of their Creator. This passion was birthed from my experiences with my loving Father and how He always loved me where I was at.
I have been married to my (4th) wonderful husband Jim for 19 years and we have two precious fur babies, Molly and PeggySue. I am “Mama” to my precious step-daughter, Deanna, 27 and “Mama” to countless other young women, whom I have had the honor and privilege to know, love, and mentor. We enjoy traveling all over the US and we love doing anything outdoors. My absolute favorite time of year is the fall and anything Pumpkin Spice.
Reader, I want to share with you one of my absolute favorite poems that God wrote upon my heart in the midst of some of my most devastating pain and the revelation of when I first saw me through His beautiful eyes. May these words bless you as you read them; may they resonate in your heart and show you how your Creator sees you and oh how He is captivated by you.
-Blessings to you,
Closed off and withdrawn, fear and doubt surround me;
I can’t catch my breath, it feels like I’m drowning.
All I can see are the chains that bind me;
Unworthiness and no self-esteem are the lies that define me.
I cried out in the midst of my pain, “does this have to be”;
And a gentle voice tells me, “I hear you and I long to set you FREE”.
But first you must open up your heart;
And let Me into the most painful parts.
For I desire to heal you and help you believe;
That you are My Daughter that means so much to Me.
I call you, “Beautiful “ and know that it is hard for you to see;
That I have delicately formed you from the Image of Me.
Nothing I have created can compare to My Creation of You;
Not even the mountains in all their splendor or the bluest skies of blue.
I call you “Beautiful “ and your beauty takes my breath away;
I am captivated by you and I am lost for words to say.
My heart fills with unspeakable joy and delight;
As I think about you, both day and night.
How intimately I know you, for there is nothing I do not know;
I have counted every hair on your head and have bottled every tear that flows.
Your many tears that have flowed, have not fallen in vain;
But forever in My Heart will they remain.
The burdens you have carried and the pain you have endured;
Will bring comfort to so many others, for this I am sure.
I call you “Beautiful “ and I have crowned you with My Glory;
And this journey you have been on has become your story.
Now take hold of My Hand and I will unfold My Plan;
For I will do so much more than you think I can.
Come out into the deep and TRUST ME, for I won’t let go;
So much awaits you… come and take hold.
You are My vessel in which I will make a way;
For countless others to KNOW ME each and every day.
I call you “Beautiful “ because you are My Beloved Bride;
For I am preparing a place for you, where we will eternally reside.
Father, I am humbled as I fall to my knees;
You blow me away with the Love You have for me.
Yes, I will TRUST YOU and will no longer believe;
The lies from the enemy and what he says about me.
I will choose to live each and every day;
Upon Your Promises and what they say.
My heart will be grateful and opened to You;
Fill it with humility and purify it too.
Have Your Way in me and may Your Will be done;
That I may die to myself as we become One.
May Honor and Glory be given to You;
As I daily surrender and live for You.
For my time here is not yet done;
Reflect in me Father, the Love of Your Son.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on juliehills.squarespace.com.