Growing up, my mama always referred to me as her social butterfly. I was never at home, always on the go, and always, always with friends. I never found it hard to create friendships. I mean, I lived in the same area until I went to college, so I grew up with a crowd of friends at all times. I never really even thought about the friendships that kind of fizzled out because I always had a new friendship blooming. I loved every bit about the friends I grew up with, even those that did eventually fizzle out.
Then I went to college. A small, private Christian college. The dorms were small and full of laughter. Although there was a lot more girl drama than I ever cared to be a part of, during my first part of college, I met some incredibly close friends. Because, again, I was surrounded by a crowd of people. It was easy. I was in an environment where hanging out and getting to know one another was the norm. I mean, hello—it’s college! Who does schoolwork in college? Hah!
Although I met some incredible people in college, it was there that I began to notice a little bit of a struggle to create friendships. It made me a little uneasy because I had never had to struggle with that. I love people. Like, I just love people. So I naturally want people to love me. But as we grow older and life begins to get a little harder—things change.
My husband is in ministry, so we have moved more than others in our six years of marriage. Each time we move, I long for those deep connections, and sometimes, it takes a lot longer than I anticipated. I remember when my husband was a young adult pastor and I had the privilege of leading and teaching the ladies’ Bible study. It was so much fun and I had a blast!
I had some ladies that were interested in getting to know me, and I had others who, by my first impression, made the call that I just wasn’t their person. And, you know, that’s totally fine! I’m definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, and I don’t connect with every person I meet.
But these were things I had not encountered before, and it stung a little. It was there that I realized rejection was going to be something I had to climb my way through. The friendships that I longed for would eventually happen, but it took a lot longer than I remember it taking while I was growing up and in college myself.
Right now in my life, I’ve started a new exciting stage of being a first-time mama to my miracle baby boy! I absolutely love every part of it. But it is here in the middle of this new stage of motherhood that I realize how important friendships are and also how rare those deep friendships are. I long for connections, but sometimes, those connections are over a phone call, over text, and may rarely be met face to face for lunch or coffee. Being a super relational person… sometimes, that can be so hard.
It was in the middle of my discouragement that Jesus pricked my heart with truth. It may be harder to invest in friendships and get them to deeper levels, but I never stop trying. I take time to invest in relationships. Am I making that same time for Jesus? Ultimately, He wants a friendship with me, too. Am I investing in my relationship with Him as much as I’m trying to invest in the friendships around me?
Honestly, the answer to that was a big no. Not that I wasn’t reading my Bible or trying to spend time with the Lord, but y’all, I wasn’t investing in that relationship. I was reading my Bible to be able to make it through the day and have patience with my strong-willed boy! But I wasn’t reading Scripture to get to know my Savior even more. I wasn’t spending time in prayer, communicating my thankfulness for Him and sharing ways I needed help in this life.
Y’all—sometimes, God gets you to a place where it’s just you and Him. Will you be satisfied with that?
“For God alone my soul waits in silence; From Him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, My defense and my strong tower; I will not be shaken or disheartened” (Ps. 62:1-2, AMP).
I had to come to that conclusion myself here recently. Sometimes, life doesn’t allow for friendships to grow deep, for you to have opportunities to meet up and invest in relationships, but that doesn’t stop you from being thankful for those friendships.
What’s stopping you from investing in your relationship with Jesus, the only friend who pursues you constantly and loves you unconditionally?
Featured Image by Julie Johnson