One of the grandest delights of my high school and college years was participating in choirs, both large and small.
I sang in the school ensembles from the time I was in third grade right through graduation day.
I sang in the church choir before I was actually old enough to join and then never missed a church choir performance until I went away to college.
And then, joy of all joys, there were the days of singing in the university choir! To raise your voice in song with other men and women whose voices were trained and whose hearts were passionate about music was as close to heaven as I could get while I was still breathing.
A song that was sung by all of these choirs, from the youngest to the most proficient, was “Let There Be Peace on Earth.”
As you read these lyrics, imagine being in the middle of a hundred-voice choir as they sing their hearts out to God and to anyone who would listen.
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on earth, the peace that was meant to be.
With God as our Father, brothers all are we.
Let me walk with my brother in perfect harmony.
The line that touches me so deeply from this classic choral piece is the last one: “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me!”
The apostle Paul could have written these lyrics.
Being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. —Ephesians 4:3
We all deeply desire peace in our relationships, especially in our families and in our marriages, but we must desire it desperately enough to make it a high priority.
As a mother, when my children all lived at home, I was a ferocious warrior for peace in our family. I refused to allow fighting, bickering, backtalk, or discord among the siblings. This quest was not an easy one but it was worth it. If one of my children was unkind to a brother or sister, the punishment was immediate with no explanation necessary.
We only spoke words of kindness.
I would often ask one of the miniature McLeods, “Were those building words or destructive words?”
Unity in our home was important to me because I knew it was a high priority to the Father.
The compelling truth is that unity in the home and peace in human relationships might be the most vital prerequisite to living abundantly this side of heaven. I refused to let my family be torn apart by selfish behavior or by lack of attention to the virtue of unity.
My husband Craig and I made date night a priority in our marriage so that there was unity in the leadership of our family. We were careful not to speak unkindly to one another in front of the children because we knew that our language modeled expected speech patterns to those who were listening to their parents.
We also were legalistic about setting aside a family night at least once a week. With five children of varying ages, it would have been easy to let the older ones make plans with their friends while the little ones stayed home in the care of a babysitter.
But we insisted on a family night and attendance was not optional.
Now, in these young adult years, I observe my fully-grown children truly loving each other. They play games together and send hilarious text messages to each other. They no longer live at the same street address, but the compasses of their hearts all point to family.
It wasn’t easy; there were many days that I wanted to throw up my hands and let each of them do their own thing. However, in the heart of a mother is the deep desire for unity and peace and I was not willing to settle for anything less than that.
Unity and peace will always take your family, your marriage, your office, and your church in an upward direction.
Unity and peace will always ensure that your life is continually traveling along the high roads of faith.
Unity and peace create an invisible structure that will allow you to live, even with difficult people, in a manner that honors Christ.
Paul uses an interesting word as the verb in this UP phrase; he employs the word “preserve” to communicate fully what his expectations are. Paul requests that we be “diligent to preserve” unity in the sweet bonds of peace.
Whenever I happen upon the word “preserve” in my reading, I am always tempted to picture jars of my grandmother’s delicious jams in her pantry, or my father’s famous jars of pickles that lined the walls of our basement.
However, in this verse, Paul is not referring to food or even to something perishable that requires preservation.
Paul uses the Greek word tereo, which was a distinct military term in ancient Greece. It was a word that painted a picture of a military guard who was charged with the unarguable task of keeping watch over something or someone of extreme importance. These soldiers were not allowed to leave their post regardless of what attacks they encountered.
Paul has charged you to tereo unity in the bond of peace in all of your human relationships, but especially with those who share the same faith. Unity and peace are valuable and treasured resources in our families and in our friendships.
Paul has not gently suggested that you preserve unity in the bond of peace, but he expects you to preserve it no matter who or what fights against you.
That’s a mighty difficult assignment, isn’t it? There have been numerous times in my life when I have greatly desired peace in a relationship, but the other person wasn’t willing to work for it in the same diligent manner.
What do you do when you are caught in the crossfire and human peace is simply not possible?
If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
—Romans 12:18
In the moments when you have diligently guarded peace and even fought for peace but it just seems impossible, the most important goal is for you to have peace in your own heart. It is of vital importance that you are walking in forgiveness and blessing even when the other person continues to be argumentative or antagonistic.
You can walk away knowing that you tried your hardest to tereo peace and still be kind to the other person involved in the challenging relationship.
If you truly long to live a vibrant life that is filled with joy and hope, then you must diligently fight for peace, but also realize that you need peace within your heart as well.
Often, when I have been engaged in a battle for peace, I remind myself that I am only allowed to say words that honor the Lord in a kind and nonjudgmental manner. I have made a serious commitment to the Father that when relationships become sticky, I will forgive and bless the other person. I will not gossip nor will I enter into playing the blame game.
Peace is worth fighting for, it is worth forgiving for, and it is worth blessing the other person in spite of differences. What a wonderful way to approach difficult relationships!
When peace is the goal and when the route is paved with forgiveness and blessing, the fulfillment will be unmatched.
Peace is only truly experienced in human relationships when intimacy with Christ is valued and when we are surrendered to His ultimate and loving control.
The unalterable truth is that it is impossible to control everything that happens to you and it is futile to try to control the people in your life. The only thing that you can absolutely control is your response to painful situations and problematic people.
Your power is found in your response; your peace is discovered when you respond the way that Jesus would.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Carol McLeod Ministries
Featured Image by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash
