A few days ago, tragedy struck and broke my heart…
While I was preparing for my day, my son ran into the room and screamed, “Daddy, Papa’s here, Papa’s here!” Though he loves his Papa (Grandpa), he normally wouldn’t be that excited to see him but there’s more to the moment than what I have just described.
You see, Papa for the last 3 days has been in ICU after being life-flighted because he became unresponsive for a long period of time while at home. With stroke-like symptoms, he was rushed from his house to the ambulance, then to the airfield and ultimately into a helicopter in all of about 45 minutes.
Tragedy had hit our family. This man of God, now 74 years old, who has served in ministry since the age of 16, was now in need of a miracle. We went to the hospital and as we waited to hear whether he was still alive or not, we wept.
I believe I know what Jesus felt when He wept over Lazarus, even though He knew He’d see Lazarus again, death still hurt. Eventually, the hospital finally let us go back. And to our surprise here dad was, sitting up, joking with the nurses, and trying to figure out what had happened.
As the doctors explained, he had a brain clot that caused Him to stroke. They said as they were doing the test, all of a sudden He was back and asking questions. This, after two hours of being completely unresponsive, was a miracle. We thank the Lord that the clot moved and Dad remains with us. His entire left side of his body was paralyzed but after just one hour, the doctor said it was healing and it did.
Dad is still not out of the woods, has some major issues now to deal with but we trust the Lord. We are simply praying Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done, and finding peace in the middle of this storm.
What I want to draw specific attention to is the heartbreak I felt while watching my father being loaded into the helicopter, laying completely lifeless.
This was the deepest pain I have felt since just eight years ago my mother passed away at 44 years old from the same thing. I was devastated but pressed into the Lord for peace. I thought I had lost my dad. In my devastation, the hardest thing to accept was the thought that I might not be able to drive 6 miles to sit on his couch and talk about Jesus any more (or the silliness of the “liberal new stations” as he puts it).
I knew in my heart that even if this was it for his time here on earth, I’d see him again but it didn’t take away the deep stabbing pain of not being able to spend time with him, for now at least. At the end of my day, I sat in retrospect and realized something that is deeply wired in my heart.
I am created with a desire to want to be with my father and my father at the point of my birth was given a deep desire to want to be with His sons(and daughters). This is a physical parallel of the desire to be in the presence of our creator in spirit. There is a deep deep longing within us, and maybe Abba felt the pain I was feeling for a moment when Adam and Eve chose a different government than His.
Did it break His heart to feel that though He would restore them back to His fellowship through Jesus, for now, He couldn’t walk with them in the day like He was used to? I know it must have hurt His heart to lose fellowship with His children over wickedness.
When love is present, there is a deep longing in the hearts of a family to be with each other. This is holy.
There is a longing to be with you in the heart of Abba. He wants fellowship, not just a relationship. When I’m here at my house and not with my dad, I’m in a relationship, but when I’m in close proximity, sitting on his couch, that is fellowship. And ABBA desires your fellowship. He desires time with you and deep in your DNA, you desire and gravitate towards Him.
I pray for you to recognize this and minister to the Lord’s heart in finding Abba through time and fellowship, not just relationship, with Jesus.
There’s more to this depicted in how Jesus said “I thirst” on the cross. Also hidden in the story of Jesus at the well. Maybe soon I’ll write about that. Give the Lord a drink today, minister to Him by giving Him that which was lost. I’m convinced that what he was referring to in the Bible concerning that which was lost, was fellowship. Because even after Adam and Eve we outside the garden, they still heard God and sought to follow him but the fellowship was gone.
Jesus has made a way back to Our Father. He is the door into the Father’s house and God-family. Do you want to bless Our Father? Bless His heart by spending time with Him in making time for Jesus. When you have Jesus, you have the Father and that is the only way. Minister to the Lord with fellowship, not just friendship.
Today I’m busting through your front door like Israel did yesterday and yelling, “Papa’s here, papa’s here!” Come spend time with Him.
Prayer: Lord, grant this hunger that draws us to yourself, even if it makes us uncomfortable when we are not in fellowship, so to draw us always into the secret place. Only your presence can satisfy this need to be with Our Father and we know you are the only way. Lord, It’s time for just a closer walk with thee!
Written by: Thomas Griffin
Featured Image by Daan Stevens