Do you want to know how to be a good friend to the people God has placed in your life? Being a good friend isn’t about being perfect. Let’s talk about one simple way to be a good friend today.
How to Be a Good Friend
Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
1 Corinthians 13:5
Mom’s Thoughts on How to Be a Good Friend:
Do you have a friend who always seems to be mad at you? She might constantly tell you that you hurt her feelings or complain that you never have time for her. She gets jealous when you spend time with other friends, and you feel like you have to walk on eggshells when you’re with her.
On the other hand, maybe you frequently confront your friends for hurting your feelings. You might feel jealous when your closest friend hangs out with her other friends. Maybe you feel like you put all the work into a certain friendship, and you often feel upset because your friend doesn’t reach out to you in the same way.
Regardless of which scenario best describes you, let me share a powerful secret for healthy, thriving friendships: Hold your friends loosely.
You can be a good friend by offering love, a listening ear, compassion, and a place for fun. You can also be a good friend by giving your friends space.
Part of becoming mature is learning to extend grace and let it go when your friends fail to meet your expectations. Every hurt feeling doesn’t have to become a hard conversation. Remind yourself that it’s healthy for your friends to have a variety of different friends and ask God to help you overcome feelings of jealousy. Hold your friends loosely, and they will want to spend time with you.
Girl to Girl (Bekah’s Thoughts):
My mom sometimes reminds me to hold my friends with an open hand. This is good advice for us all.
You hold your friends with an open hand when you let them hang out with others and don’t cause fights or create drama. You hold them with an open hand when you forgive them for letting you down. Everyone makes mistakes, and your friends will eventually let you down. Don’t hold it against them. Instead, forgive them and move on.
It’s also important to remember that friendships change over time. You might be close with a certain friend one year, but the next year, you are in different classes and drift apart. That’s okay. Drifting closer together and then farther apart is natural in all friendships. Keep your heart open as your friends flow in and out of your inner circle.
Most importantly, give your friends space. Give them room to have other friends, change, and grow. Try not to become jealous when your friends spend time with others. It’s okay to have a best friend, but try to remain open to having other friends as well. Friendships are always healthiest when we hold them loosely.
Talk About It:
- Do you have any friends who often seem upset with you? Why do they get upset, and how does it make you feel?
- Do you ever feel jealous of your friends? What is God showing you about these feelings in light of today’s reading?
- In what ways might you need to hold your friendships more loosely and extend more grace?
Pray Together:
Lord, thank you for our friends. We want to learn how to be good friends to others. Help us hold our friends loosely and be patient with them. Help us avoid jealousy and extend the same kindness we hope to receive from others. Amen.
Journal Later:
Friends are an important part of our lives. God designed us to live in community with others and to find joy and growth through relationships. Describe your closest friend (or friends). What do you appreciate about this friend, and what makes this person a good friend to you?
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on In Between the Lines
Featured Image by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
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