It’s so easy to read a story of someone else who was healed, restored, or redeemed and think…“That’s great for them. But that won’t happen for me.” And I get it. It’s sometimes our knee jerk reaction to dismiss them as nothing more than just it being “that person’s story.” But do you know what the word testimony means? In Hebrew, it comes from a root word that means ‘do it again.’ Therefore, every time a testimony is spoken, it comes with God’s covenant to repeat the miracle. This is the reason why I have begun sharing the many testimonies sent to me through email.
I want to create an atmosphere for the miracle to be duplicated. I want you to have a place to be able to come and immerse yourself in the power that a testimony can hold. Because if God did it for them, He will do it again. And why not do it again for you? After all, He does not show favoritism (Romans 2:11). Therefore, as you read, open yourself up to the possibility that what He did for them, He is not only able but also willing to do for you. May their story help bring hope and healing to yours.
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I have been there. The heartache. The pain during baby showers. The tears that seem to never run dry. Every year it becomes harder and harder to cope with the reality of infertility and the struggle to do what seemed so easy for others. I remember walking through Costco last Christmas holiday and seeing a woman very pregnant. My heart hurt that the woman, whoever she was, had all I ever wanted. She was going to ring in the New Year with a child. i quickly checked out and could barely make it to my car without falling apart. I sobbed the whole way home feeling completely heartbroken and shattered.
Once I pulled into my driveway, I sat there…alone. Crying. It took some time for me to pull it together and go into the house where my husband was waiting. I walked into our home with tears dried as if shopping had gone without a hitch; as I had done many times over when my reality would hit me like a mac truck. Until…I got my wish. My miracle came after five years of unexplained infertility. I still can’t believe it sometimes.
So, to you, the one reading this who might also know the pain and heartbreak of seeing other pregnant women and so badly wanting to experience it too, I see you. But not only do I see you, but God sees you as well. He sees your tears and He knows the desires of your heart. After all, He is the one who put this desire for motherhood there. And He won’t leave you or abandon you with it. I, among many others, are proof that miracles still happen. Therefore, I plead with you, don’t give up hope…in Him.
My husband and I were married in August 2007. We decided that night we wouldn’t prevent pregnancy and hoped to have a baby together. He decided to love me when I was at my worst. In 2006, when we started dating, I was pregnant and had an almost-four-year-old. He was such a great dad and I wanted us to have 2-3 more children (biologically) together. Fast forward to 2015, nearly eight years since we said “iIdo”, and we haven’t had any luck despite our efforts. But then it happened.
In the summer of 2015, I started spotting in between periods, which was unusual. However, the spotting turned into the worst bleeding I have ever had. I will never forget it! It was a Saturday night and by Sunday morning I wasn’t any better; unable to attend church I had to find someone to teach my Sunday School class for me. By the next morning I wasn’t any better, therefore I went to the doctor where it was confirmed I was going through a miscarriage. It was a hard loss, but it gave me a renewed hope to know that pregnancy was possible…it could happen.
However, two more years passed by without a pregnancy. And that was hard too. Not knowing why my body could once create and sustain life, but now faltering. However in August, after spotting again, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! I can’t even begin to tell you all the emotions running through me! I cried and thanked God! But, unfortunately, two days later I found myself in the emergency room with an ectopic pregnancy and needing surgery to have my right tube removed. After that, I was devastated. I gave up hope and told my husband it must not be in God’s plans for us to have a baby together. June and July of the following year passed without a period. I took several pregnancy tests, but they were all negative. Then on August 4th, it was positive. I made an appointment and had an ultrasound completed within a week. It was confirmed I was 5 weeks, 6 days along…and guess what?! There was a heartbeat! I was so nervous that I couldn’t be happy.
We had a second ultrasound two weeks later, everything was good, but I was still scared. I was so sick during the first 12 weeks. I also had the stomach flu twice. It was rough. At 17 weeks we had a 3D ultrasound and found out we were having a boy! Little did I know three weeks later my water would break. I was sitting in church and felt a little gush. I got up and went to the bathroom and then a big gush came. I spent the next nine weeks in the hospital on bed rest. But through it all, Nathaniel made his grand appearance on Groundhogs day! He was 29 weeks gestation and weighed 3lbs 5oz and was 16 inches long. He came out crying!
The next 11 weeks in the NICU were so incredibly crazy! It was full of ups and downs, but God was with me through it all. He was always there reminding me that His grace was enough and that He had a plan for us. It was during all this time that I clung to His word and found hope, as well as comfort in scripture and songs. We spent 11 years praying and waiting and I share my story to simply say this: Don’t give up hope. Keep your faith as you cling to Him and His word. Your miracle is coming! And my prayers are with you.
My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 3.5 years. We have both undergone fertility treatments for three of those years. I have had two surgeries to remove several uterine polyps, as well as stage two endometriosis. Recently, I was diagnosed with PCOS, which explains why I do not ovulate on my own. Oh, and did I mention we also battle malefactor? You could say the odds are stacked up against us.
However, two years ago, I was praying to God asking, “are we going to have our own biological children?” I wanted Him to just let me know if not. It was in prayer that I felt like He said, “Yes.” So, naturally, I asked, “When?” I strongly heard…”NOVEMBER”. At that time, I wasn’t sure if November was just on my mind because my sister was getting married the following November or if it was real. Fast forward to now, years later and after 10 IUIs, we found out we are expecting! I’m still in a state of disbelief and feeling anxious! Infertility has me expecting a “catch,” BUT guess what?! Our due date is November 21st! God is faithful and His Word will not return void.
I always knew I had an imbalance somewhere during my teen years. I just knew something wasn’t right. I self-diagnosed with having PCOS when I was 24. Something I had never heard of or knew anyone that had it. I researched and researched and concluded that “yep this is what I have.” However, I was too scared to go to the doctor. I was scared to hear the “you’ll never have children speech.” So, over the course of four years, I struggled with the daily battles that PCOS causes along with infertility. I hid my pain as best as I could, but my husband knew something needed to be done.
Therefore, in December of 2017, we decided that the next year we would make the dreaded doctor appointments and consequently deal with whatever life was about to throw at us. In January of 2018, I received my monthly Ipsy bag, and in it was a card saying, “I will conquer (insert blank).” Of course, I filled in the blank with infertility! To me, that was the sign I needed, and I made my first appointment that same month. During that appointment, it was confirmed PCOS was indeed the cause of our issues, but my doctor informed me “you’re still young let’s wait it out.” I was 28 and wasn’t too sure about this. After all, I thought to myself “I’ve waited long enough!!” But, despite the feelings in my gut, I followed his plan to “wait it out.”
However, in May I decided I had waited too long. At this point, I was 29 and I didn’t want to wait forever! So, I went in for a consultation with another doctor and she insisted upon prescribing me birth control and metformin to help regulate my blood sugar, as well as get my hormones on the right track. I walked out of the office that day with such hope that I hadn’t felt in quite a long time! The next few months consisted of ultrasound after ultrasound and blood work after blood work. Over the course of several months, my body started to function properly and for the first time, I felt great. In fact, I was producing and doing everything I should be for the first time in a very long time.
In August, we stopped birth control. September came with yet another negative pregnancy test. And same with October. We completed yet another ultrasound at the end of October to check my follicles. I had great follicles and the ultrasound technician was astounded with how great they looked in such a short time. On November 20th, I got up for work at 5 am and took yet again another test. Because I had been through this routine so many times before, I simply laid it on the bathtub and went about getting ready for work thinking “it’ll just be negative so I’m not even going to look until I go to put it in the trash!” My husband went to leave, and I thought I might as well check before he leaves and it was POSITIVE!
I ran it out to him, and we could not believe it! Luckily, I already had an appointment scheduled for the 21st as a follow-up and it was confirmed during that appointment that it was very much positive. My first ultrasound was scheduled for December 20th; however, on December 18th I had some spotting. I called the doctor and immediately went in for an ultrasound where we saw our baby on the screen for the first time. I watched the heartbeat dance across the screen, and it was amazing; a dream come true. But the story doesn’t end there because we saw something extra on that screen. There wasn’t just one little baby, but TWO! Maverick Lane and Jaxon Kole were born June 25th at 5 weeks early. Maverick weighing 4lbs and 14 ounces and Jaxon weighing 4lbs 3 ounces. The boys had a short NICU stay but we are all home and doing wonderfully.
I wake up every day thinking it’s been a dream and then I get to see the two most beautiful boys. It’s so surreal to have the dream you never thought you’d have come true…and to have it come true times two! We are truly blessed with these two boys and I must pinch myself every morning to make sure this is still real life. To the one reading this, please never give up. Never lose faith. Even when everything fails, even with another negative test result and even when you feel like the world is falling apart all around you…DONT LOSE HOPE! Trust God. He has a plan for each one of us. I conquered infertility in 2018 and I pray that somehow and in some way, you will one day conquer it too.
I just wanted to share something with you and possibly the other ladies as well…me and my husband have been praying for a baby for about 4 years. In May I finally went to a RE for fertility testing for the first time after 4 years of not one positive pregnancy test. They did a lot of blood work and called me back a week later and told me my AMH was zero. Ran the test again, and it was zero again. We were told our options were IVF or adoption; we were so upset. June 30th, our preacher preached a message on Hezekiah and Isaiah and how Hezekiah brought his burden (the letter) to the Lord.
At the end of the message, our preacher encouraged us to write our burden down and bring it to the Lord. I wrote down my burden and we prayed over it. At the end of the service, our preacher said, “I believe some miracles are going to happen.” Of course, I was praying that the miracle would be our baby! Two days later at work, I took a pregnancy test because I was a couple of days late and having some odd symptoms. And it was positive! I know that was God’s miracle! After 4 years of trying we had just been told it was never going to happen, but God had a miracle in store for us! Don’t give up no matter what those lab levels say! God is the ultimate physician!
After 10 years of trying, countless medications, surgeries, needles, tests…more tests…and more medications, nothing worked. However last Christmas Eve we conceived on our own despite having only one fallopian tube; sadly, in the middle of January we found out it wasn’t going to be a viable pregnancy. I was heartbroken! But low and behold, at the end of February, we got pregnant again with our miracle rainbow baby. She will be eight weeks next week and each time I look at her I have to pinch myself! Miracles happen every day! So, don’t lose hope!
13 years. That is how long I waited for my blessing. My husband and I tried fertility drugs and endured numerous surgeries, however, nothing worked. Shortly after I turned 36 years old, my doctor said, “We have no idea why you are not getting pregnant. Without invitro, there is no way you will ever become pregnant. But even then, there are no guarantees.” I am one of those individuals who never aspired to be a doctor or a lawyer. All I ever wanted to be was a mom.
Therefore, when the doctor told me this, I was left devastated! I became very angry and depressed. IVF was not something we were wanting to pursue, and adoption was not an option at the time due to finances and our ages; therefore, we decided to live a childless life as we continued to co-parent our nieces and nephews. However, fourteen months later, what the doctors told me was early menopause, turned out to be a pregnancy!
For the first time, at the ages of 38 and 45, we were pregnant! I had a picture-perfect pregnancy! We now have the most beautiful, intelligent, caring 11-year-old daughter! She is more than we could have ever asked for and we are so blessed and thankful! God gets all of the glory! His timing, although not my own, proved to be perfect!
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on waitingforbabybird.com.
Featured image by Annisa Ica
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