Now when they arrived at Bethany, which was only about two miles from Jerusalem, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days” (John 11:17-18 TPT).
Have you ever been in a place where you’ve really needed God to show up, and it seemed He was too late? Mary and Martha had seen the miraculous healing power of Jesus, but when it was their brother who lay dying, Jesus didn’t come in time. He delayed…on purpose.
As I traveled through those years of facing horrific memories of abuse, only to walk out the door of my counselor’s office to face the same triggers all over again, there were so many times I got angry with God for not delivering me quickly and setting me free. I wondered if I was broken beyond repair.
Then, when realizing the depth of pain I endured, I would cry, “Why didn’t you stop the pain, the horror, the abuse?” “Why didn’t you come and rescue me when I was helpless and had no one else who would?”
There are so many similar circumstances I could list that maybe hit closer to home.
A friend of mine struggles to understand why God doesn’t heal her child of disabilities when she believes it’s God’s will to heal, our church friends whose daughter committed suicide, a friend who lost her hearing as a baby, or my best friend who was healed of cancer—only to lose her son a few months later to a heart defect—and then die herself of cancer that had returned.
Oh, the list can grow longer and longer.
I have seen the seemingly quick deliverance and creative miracles too. I have. I know God can heal anything.
Why doesn’t God stop the pain in this world? Why does He allow the innocent to suffer? I know if you haven’t asked, you’ve wanted to. This can be the watery graveyard of many who have become shipwrecked in their faith.
My simple answer is, I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers.
Yahweh sees eternity. He sees and understands way more than we ever will. He’s the potter. I’m the clay. Yet, how can I trust a God who says He loves me but allows all these things to happen?
When I was in counseling, and I would have horrific memories begin playing on the screen of my mind, then I would invite Him into the place with me; I would always begin to see where He was and what He was doing to protect me, to help me, to comfort, and hold me. I realized then that He is not a God who is untouched by our sorrow, pain, and shame. He is right there experiencing it with us.
When I asked the question, “Why didn’t He stop it?”, He said it had to do with free will. He did try to speak to those who abuse me to stop, but they chose not to listen to His voice. He told me the other three options were to take me home to be with Him, to wipe out the abusers, which would have more destroyed how I viewed Him, or He could hold me through it, allowing me the ability to disassociate so I wouldn’t constantly remember the pain with a promise that one day He would heal it when I could handle it. He chose the latter.
When I asked Him why hasn’t He just zapped me and made whole all at once, He told me I needed to know my story, so I could learn who He really is and who He really made me to be. I needed to grow in character, and He has used the pain and suffering for my good. He didn’t cause it. Oh no! That was the choice of men and women who did evil, and I suffered for it. Yet, God took all of it, all the broken mess, and has used it for good for me, giving beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, strength for fear, peace for despair. This, to me, is even more of a miracle. Each time He came in was another deliverance, another miraculous healing. I just had so many layers of pain to sort through. And I’m not done. I still have layers yet to uncover with Him. Yet, each time was a healing for me.
But even that is ok because He loves to use broken things. There may always be a level of brokenness in me, and I need to remind myself to be kinder to myself. It’s ok not to be able to handle as much as my peers. It’s ok not to be super mom and winner of the best housewife award. When I am weak, then I am strong.
So, why does He allow suffering in the world? Well, first of all, humankind chose that in the garden, not God. He gave the choice because He wanted children, not robots. We live in a fallen world with sin nature around us, and the results of sin in our environment also causes suffering. We can’t blame God for that.
He has, however, sent us the solution through His son, Jesus. Jesus said that in this world, we would have trouble, but to take courage because He has overcome the world. We can have His joy as our strength right in the middle of the storm.
So, what about my friend and her son who died? That wasn’t supposed to happen. It almost crushed my faith.
I remember clearly the answer I got. I saw a knothole in a wooden fence, and I heard the Lord say to look through it. I tried, but my view was extremely limited. I then heard that trying to understand eternity was like looking through that knot in the fence. There are simply some things I will not understand until I’m on the other side of the fence.
Yet, I can trust God with that because I’m beginning to understand that He is good and that He really does love me, even when I go through hard and painful things. In fact, sometimes, He wants me to lean back into the pain and realize that I can trust Him even there right in the middle of it. Pain actually loses it’s power over me when I can do that.
We also can release the opposite spirit of the very thing we are suffering through and have the ability to change things with Him. So, sometimes when we find ourselves in the middle of a storm, maybe we are meant to speak peace to it.
Maybe it’s not even about living this pain-free, non-suffering life, which I think many western church believers expect. When the ride is not what was expected, they jump ship so many times.
Maybe it’s more about being molded and shaped into a beautiful vessel that can be used for God’s glory. Maybe it’s about cultivating a life of character, valuable gems that can only happen in the heat of the fire.
God doesn’t cause evil to happen in our lives, but He is super creative and good about making the most out of it for our good. He came to heal the brokenhearted and bind up our wounds, set at liberty those oppressed by the enemy, and proclaim the good news. He commissions us to heal the sick, raise the dead, and to cast out demons. He desires good things for us.
So, back to the dead man in a tomb and a healer who was four days too late. Was He really too late? Is He really ever too late? Or is He always precisely on time when we call to Him, even when we think He has abandoned us? He hasn’t. Even in the darkest of nights. Even in the fiercest of storms. He is the resurrection and the life. Though we may be dead, feel dead, have dead places in us, He is resurrecting us into new life if we let Him.
Featured Image by Dmitry Ratushny on Unsplash
