For the First Time

Hearing something over and over again since childhood, whether we like to admit it or not, can often make it feel watered down to us. The wonder of Jesus is not lost on me, and I often get emotional reading certain passages…But I just wish that I could taste it fresh for the first time, ya know?

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I know this may sound weird, but I have often wondered what it would be like to hear the gospel for the first time.

I’m currently thirty-three and have been a follower of Jesus for twenty-six years. I remember the pastor coming to my house and walking me through the salvation message. I remember getting baptized on a Sunday morning as a little girl. I remember Sunday School lessons and getting lost in daydreams in church services. My mom likes to brag and say that I’ve never not been in church. She took us basically the Sunday after we were born. So, for me, the truth of Jesus came quickly, and the pieces that I gathered along the way paved for me a very solid path that I cherish and stand firmly on.

I’m thankful that I never “sorta” “kinda” believed in Jesus. When I accepted Him at seven, I knew Him. He and I spoke often. One of the earliest memories I have of Him speaking to me was when I was probably eight. I was running late for a gymnastics class, and I absolutely loved gymnastics. I was getting very upset that I would miss even a moment. I just could not find my leotard! In my child induced frustration, I said, “You know where it is, Lord! Where is it?” He responded with, “Check the dryer.” I opened the dryer door—and there it was.

I love that the Lord cares about the little things.

I’m an Enneagram 4, and we relish sitting in wonder about anything. We marvel at the moon and sing songs as if we live in musicals. The wonder of Jesus is not lost on me, and I often get emotional reading certain passages of Daniel or other places where we see tiny glimpses into heaven and experience the intense majesty that is our God. One of my personal favorites is when Daniel describes the throne of the Ancient of Days. Daniel 7:9-10a (NIV) says:

 

As I looked,

thrones were set in place,

and the Ancient of Days took his seat.

His clothing was as white as snow;

the hair of his head was white like wool.

His throne was flaming with fire,

and its wheels were all ablaze.

A river of fire was flowing,

coming out from before him.

 

Oh, it’s so good! The beauty and the mystery. But I just wish that I could taste it fresh for the first time, ya know? Hearing something over and over again since childhood, whether we like to admit it or not, can often make it feel watered down to us. We don’t take the time to really see it afresh because the familiarity of it is too—well—familiar.

There are definite pros and cons to growing up attending church like it’s your third parent. Some major pros are the very serious foundation that’s built. The Word that’s planted in your heart. The ways you experience the Lord and the very real growth that happens over years and years of hearing Truth.

The only pro I can think of when it comes to finding Jesus later in life is that there may be a much deeper understanding of His love and forgiveness. In Luke 7:36-50, Mary, the sinful woman, comes and washes Jesus’s feet with her hair. Then Jesus shares a parable of two men with very different amounts of debt being forgiven.

At the end of the chapter, while He is explaining the parable to those at the table, He says, “Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little” (Luke 7:47, NKJV). Jesus is saying that those who are forgiven more have a deeper appreciation for the forgiveness He gives, and therefore have a greater understanding of His love and a deeper well to draw from.

Should we sin so that we can understand this love more? Certainly not! (refer to Romans 6:1). Those of us who grew up in the church should be thankful for our heritage and stand firm on the foundation we have been given. Those who have found Him much later in life, they should stand rooted in the depth of love they have been shown. Both types of people, whether from a young age or later in life, have been forgiven, and the love of our Savior is real and tangible in our lives. Some may feel it more deeply while others marvel at the way our Jesus loves the world so easily.

Would I trade my twenty-six year relationship for the wonder of meeting Jesus for the first time? Heck no. But I do still ponder what it feels like to meet the Son of God, the Savior of the World, and the King of all kings for the first time. It must be the most intensely beautiful moment a person can have.

 

 

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About the Author

Dawn King is a Carolina native with a Neverland heart. She's an Enneagram 4 that believes beauty can be found even in the darkest of places, light is always bright enough to outshine darkness, and love is stronger than any madness or evil. She values kindness and honesty more than most anything else. She will always believe that to change the world you must first change yourself.