Eternal Peace: A Personal Journey

I realized I did not have to try to climb. Simply because the ladder was Peace.

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Recently I turned 50. I really enjoyed my birthday this year. I was finally at peace.

However, for almost seven years before, my birthday was a horrible emotional trigger. No matter how hard I tried I could not enjoy it. Old memories that were extremely painful haunted me. They robbed me of any joy on my special day. I had to struggle to smile through each “Happy Birthday” and pretend to be enjoying myself. Meanwhile, the whole time I was secretly begging God to let the time of the day pass so I could just reach tomorrow. So I could just forget.

Even weeks before my birthday I would start having panic attacks just in the anticipation of being brought back into the memories of that time in my life. No matter how hard I tried to climb the ladder to reach peace I fell back down in despair.

Then I realized I did not have to try to climb. Simply because the ladder was Peace.

In Genesis 28:10-22, we find Jacob searching for God. However, God came pursuing him.

God came to him in a dream. He dreamed of a ladder that stretched from heaven and earth and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. God appeared and gave him the promise of Immanuel. God with us. God would be with him no matter what…just like God is with you and me always.

Then in John 1:43-51, we get even a fuller understanding of Jacob’s dream. Jesus says the angels were ascending and descending not on a ladder, but on the Son of Man.

Jesus IS the ladder.

He is the only thing that is the gap between heaven and earth.

He is PEACE.

He is a God that comes down to His people. I did not have to continue to fight to climb to find Him.

He had been there the whole time. In every tragic event of my life. He was there.

The Christ was born and came down for all of us.


To bring us eternal PEACE.

I didn’t need to beg… or climb or search. I had Him all along and so do you.

I pray that you open your eyes this Christmas season to the peace that surrounds you. He is always there.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” Isaiah 9:6 NIV.





This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Holy Beautiful Life

Featured Image by Marc Schiele on Unsplash


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About the Author

Jennifer Howard is a Kingdom Winds Collective Member and Founder of The Holy Beautiful Ministry for Women.